Page 152 of Into These Eyes
“Actually, I have no idea,” I answer, forcing the truth out through my constricting throat, realising this new development might force me to slice open that wound.
Jamie puts a hand on Anika’s shoulder. “Listen, Ank. This is all a lot to take in. Wouldn’t it be best to start your new job, get yourself all settled, then think about connecting with your father?”
“No, I don’t think that’s best at all.” She shrugs free of Jamie’s hand, the hurt in her eyes palpable. “In fact, I’ll look him up and call him right now.” Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she unlocks it.
It takes everything in me not to lean across the counter and swipe it from her hand.
Instead, Jamie does it for me. “Ank, it’s not fair to just spring it on him. And there are other issues to consider before you go barging in.”
“Like what?”
“Like he might not be the greatest parent,” I manage to contribute.
Anika’s head snaps toward me, her brows creasing. “He can’t be any worse than the man who killed my mother, then let you take the blame for it. Right?”
I let out a long breath. “My father …ourfather, believes I’m guilty. I was your age when it happened, and he turned his back on me.”
She stares at me for the longest time. When her eyes flare with anger, I’m sure she’s imagining what that might feel like if she were in that position. Empathy and disappointment quickly follow. “Aren’t there any decent fucking people left in this world? Is that too much to ask?”
Wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her in close, Jamie says, “Well, there’s two pretty decent people right in front of you. And we’re both here for you, okay?”
Anika deflates with a sigh. “I know.”
“So, how about you give Gavin and I some time to discuss it?”
“Now?” she asks, hopeful.
“Yes, now.”
Satisfied, she grabs her phone, three sandwiches and her drink. “Fine. I’m going out to the pool.” She heads toward the hallway, then turns back. “And no fucking around.”
Once we hear the sliding door slap shut, Jamie plucks up her mother’s letter, along with my bundle, and tilts her head for me to follow.
In her bedroom, she closes the door and sets the letters on her nightstand. I hover at the end of the bed, aware that we’re here, alone. And instead of pouncing on her, I’m stuck in a mindfuck of emotions and new information.
Stacking a few pillows against the headboard, she strides over to me, takes my hand and leads me to her side of the bed.
“Get on,” she instructs
I do as she says and settle my back against the pillows.
She climbs on, straddles my lap and cups my face as her eyes search mine. “Overwhelmed?” she asks.
“Yeah.” Of course she knows exactly how I’m feeling.
Resting one hand on my chest and the other at the back of my neck, she traces soothing circles. Loving me. The way she did when I told her about her mother’s last moments alive. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. Already, my mind begins to quiet.
“Whatever you need, Gavin, I’m here. If you want me to give you space, if you want to talk, if you just want to be held, I’ll do it.”
“You’re doing exactly what I want. You always do.”
After a few minutes of holding each other, I let out a deep sigh and move my hands to her hips, waiting for her to ease back so I can see her eyes. “I guess we should talk. For all we know Anika’s looked up his number. She’s probably talking to him right now.”
“I think what you told her put the brakes on that.”
“I don’t want to stop her from seeing him,” I say honestly. “I just wanted her to know … well, it was all over her face. She thinks he’s some sort of solution to the problems she had with your father. She needed to know he’s just as capable of hurting her.”
Jamie bites her lip, taking in my words. “But Gavin, every single person we care about is capable of hurting us.”
