Page 184 of Into These Eyes
“I’ve already got the most wonderful thing.” He kisses the top of my head and squeezes me.
“Stop it.”
“What? Don’t tell me I’m outdoing you on the compliments?”
“I’m too relaxed and tired and comfortable to try to one-up you right now.” Tracing the outline of his tattoo, I ask, “Tell me when you first realised you were falling for me.”
“That’s easy. It started in that awful tin-can. The day you told me I was innocent.”
“Because of the fantastic news I gave you?”
“No. Because that day, we met for the first time … as equals, with the truth between us. And it was how quickly you let me know, how you wanted to help me tell the world I didn’t kill anyone. Considering the circumstances, that told me what an extraordinary person you were. But they weren’t the only reasons.”
My heart soars. I’d only been doing what was right, and he loved me for being me. Running my fingers through the sprinkling of hairs on his chest, I prompt, “What else?”
“When I was laughing with the relief of it all, and I turned around and saw you laughing too. Your beautiful smile, the joy on your face, and the care and happiness in your eyes. I think that was the pinnacle moment.”
“And then I ruined it for you.”
“Hell no,” he argues, trailing his fingers through my hair. “Yeah, you started crying—which you should have done wellbefore that moment—but do you remember what happened next?”
“I told you, I’ll never forget. You held me.”
“You have no idea the inner turmoil I went through when I saw you break down. My instinct was to hold you, but logic reasoned that was the last thing you’d want from me. And if I tried, and you pushed me away … well, that thought was terrifying.”
I prop my chin on his chest so I can look into his eyes. “But you took the risk anyway.”
“The moment you held onto me, you had my heart. Comforting you when you needed it most, made me feel real, like I mattered. Like I was useful. That maybe I hadn’t been discarded and thrown on the trash heap. Your body in my arms, your words, the way you cared about me more than the hell you were going through … I’m sure my heart leapt over to your chest and took up residence right then. And I knew I’d never feel it beat with life again unless I was with you. I fell so fucking hard, J, I didn’t know what to do with it. So, I buried it. Because I couldn’t let myself hope that you’d ever feel the same way.” He gently tucks my hair behind my ear, his eyes searching mine. “When did you?”
“The next morning,” I answer without hesitation.
His eyebrows shoot up. “It took you that long? I thought it was the moment I walked into that cocktail bar, and you threw yourself at me.”
I give his nipple a playful pinch. “I don’t remember that.”
“Sure you don’t,” he chuckles.
“It was definitely the next morning. The way you took care of me. The way you didn’t once blame me for bringing it upon myself. When you told me the truth about my mortifying behaviour even though you thought it might mean I’d turn my back on helping you. Then, when you left, the house felt so empty.Ifelt empty. So I tried to bury it, too.”
“Hmm,” he sighs, his palm grazing down my hip before grabbing my backside. “You knew we’d end up here, didn’t you?”
I gape at him. “No.”
“Breaking your rule.”
“No, I’m not!”
He scoffs. “Okay, let me rephrase that. Youhopedthis would happen?”
I hesitate a moment, but what’s the point? “Yes.”
“So, when you asked me to come and stay here …”
“It might have been at the back of my mind.”
He laughs, his whole body hitching against me. “I can’t believe Benny was right.”
I stare at him in surprise. “He was?”
