Page 190 of Into These Eyes
Arms still crossed, she turns her back on me. My heart freezes. What else can it do when it feels like hers has frozen too?
Then she moves. She stalks around the dining table, around the breakfast bar and into the kitchen, then back into the living room, stopping in the same spot she started from.
Looking me in the eye, she plants her fists on her hips. “But that didn’t happen.”
“Because it was a lie, Jamie. Iliedto him. And when he got released, when he started pushing to get it done, I kept putting him off, finding one lame excuse after another so I didn’t have to admit I lied to my best friend. I was grateful to have him with me on the outside. Apart from him, I was utterly alone. So, I wanted to keep him with me. And I figured the longer I delayed, the more he’d come to accept being free. But fate had other ideas. Because you happened.”
Her arms drop to her sides, her hands tight little fists. “What does that mean?”
Taking a risk, I stand, but I don’t try to get closer. I wait a moment, then remember to breathe when she doesn’t back away. “It means, the day you came to my door and revealed the truth, I had a long discussion with Benny, and we came to an agreement. He’d give it six months.”
Now her hands are back on her hips again. “So, all that hatred and blame you put on Reid, you never planned to do anything about it?”
“I won’t ever deny I hate that prick. And I have no doubt that if he’s done it to me, he’s done it others. Iwanthim to pay for what he’s done. Of course I do.”
Barely above a whisper, she asks, “That’s why you changed your mind about staying here, isn’t it? You used me, hoping to get to him.”
“No, that’s not it at all. When you told me you’d clear my name, at first, that’s all I heard, all I saw. My future, my life back in my hands. Then the other implication seeped in. I realised that by clearing my name, that piece of shit would also be exposed as the corrupt cop he is. Being able to humiliate him, strip him of his power … that felt far more satisfying, far more punishing, than anything else that could happen to him. I’m not a killer, Jamie. I’d never allow scum like Reid to turn me into a monster. You know that. Youknowthat.”
She opens her mouth to say something, but I see the hesitation there, the cogs flying. I take a quarter of a step toward her. She doesn’t flinch or move away. It’s all I need. In two strides I’m right in her space, my hands on her shoulders, my face only inches from hers.
“Jamie, you have no idea the relief I felt when I suddenly had you in my corner. When I realised I actually had a chance at a normal life. That relief … well it only comes second to how much I love you.” I cup her face. “Please don’t hate me for lying to an old man to make him believe I had his back. Because that lie meant Ididhave his back.”
She blinks at me, then lets out a long sigh. “I could never hate you again. Never. I just … I’m trying to get my head around it all. It’s sofuckingsad that Benny was desperate enough to devise a plan just so he could live the rest of his life in prison. It breaks my heart.”
“He had no hope, no life out here. I just needed time to show him it wasn’t as scary on the outside as he thought. And, because of you, he knows that now. Because of you, J.”
She shakes her head. “None of that has anything to do with me.”
As I place my forehead on hers, I feel her fingers curl into my t-shirt. “I told you at the time … you didn’t have to reveal your father’s confession to me, to anyone. Only you knew the truth, and you could have kept it that way. But because of the person you are, you didn’t. And because you didn’t, everything that happened after that led to me being here and you welcoming Benny into your life as well. I’m not sure you understand what that means to a man like him. To a man like me.”
She rolls her forehead against mine in denial. Suddenly, she pulls away, sending my heart plunging through the floor. “Jamie?”
Fuck. This can’t be the end. We’ve only just started.
For a moment, she won’t meet my eyes. When she does, she bites her lower lip, her features tight with worry. “There’s something I should have told you, too.”
“O … kay,” I say cautiously. I don’t like the way she’s looking at me, and the fact that I’m not the only one who’s omitted the truth, has my pulse stuttering.
“Pete … he asked me … well, made me promise to hold off on your application to overturn your conviction. There’s something going on, but his hands are tied. He can’t tell me anything. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I just … I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”
“Are you kidding me?”
She shakes her head. “I’m so sorry. I—”
“Jamie,” I interrupt as I take her hand and pull her close. “You could never disappoint me.”
“You’re not angry?”
I thread my fingers through her hair so I can cradle the back of her head. “You trust Pete?”
She nods.
“Then I trust you’re doing what’s right.”
“You’re sure?”
I kiss her, and drink in her response. Nothing’s changed. She’s still mine, still wants me, still loves me. When I lift my mouth from hers, I say, “No more secrets.”
