Page 27 of Into These Eyes
The urge to hold her hand is so strong I drag mine off the table and place them on my thighs. “So you know that I understand what a big deal it is that you’ve gone out of your way, madeyourself uncomfortable—at a time when you’ve lost your father—to tell me the truth.”
She shrugs, fixing her eyes on my chest again. “Well, it’s important.”
“It’s been the most important thing in my life for the last sixteen years.”
She slowly meets my gaze, a soul-crushing sadness right there in her eyes.
Then the truth sinks in, washing over me like a tsunami. And as it does, I discover I’m now the one who has to blink fast. But for me, the blinking isn’t working, and the tears overflow, spilling down my cheeks.
Embarrassed, I slide free of the table and turn my back to her. I’m on the edge of losing complete control of this enormous rush coursing through me. While I know it’s inevitable, I don’t want it to happen in front of Jamie Evans. She’s got enough to deal with without me falling to pieces.
I lean against the narrow opening between the kitchen and my bed as more tears course down my face. My throat constricts with the effort to keep the emotion from bursting free. It does anyway. My whole body shudders as a sob escapes. Followed by a sharp, hitching breath. And another sob. There’s no way she’s not hearing this, seeing it. It’s fucking mortifying.
But there’s nothing I can do. All this time, being hated by her for something I didn’t do … and for her to come to me with the truth right after the confession that must have destroyed her world … it’s more than overwhelming. Her selflessness is staggering.
Then, as a million thoughts scatter through my brain, something unexpected happens. An explosion of euphoria blasts through my entire being. My heart, my shoulders, my chest, suddenly feel light. Almost like I’m floating. I’d never realised that the burden of carrying that guilty verdict inside my head,has also been weighing down my body. But now, it’s fading, and I feel a hundred kilos lighter and ten years younger.
Because Jamie Evans believes me.
Chapter 13
Jamie
Iwatch his back, realising that although my father’s earth-shattering revelation has left me numb, it’s the opposite for Gavin.
I’d seen it on his face. Awe and relief all at once. When tears he couldn’t hold back spilled over his cheeks, the enormity of his suffering spiked through me like a spear. I’ve never given a thought to the incredible pain he’s experienced. Why would I? But witnessing his tangible, physical reaction ruptures my heart.An innocent man, hated by everyone. So much so, his own father testified against him. The media, like sharks, tore strips off him piece by piece, used him for ratings like he was some sort of carnival freak. Then there’s the loathing he must have seen in everyone’s eyes in that courtroom.
And I’d been the worst of all.
As my own tears spill, his body shudders and I can’t miss the sobs he’s trying to stifle. Overwhelmed by the news, he needs to physically release the pain he’s been carrying all these years.
I should leave, give him privacy. He’s clearly trying to control himself because I’m sitting here, invading this personal, highly emotional moment.
As I slide toward the end of the bench seat, a rumble comes from somewhere deep inside him. I freeze, confused by the sound. It’s not a hitching breath or a sob.
It’s a … laugh?
And it comes again, comes from his core with such force it fills the whole caravan.
He reaches out, steadies himself against the kitchen counter, and doubles over as laughter rolls through his body and tumbles from his mouth.
I stand. I should go. This is his time. He deserves to experience his joy privately.
But my feet refuse to move, the intoxicating cadence of his laughter rooting me to the spot. Before I can check myself, I’m smiling, his sheer happiness a contagious virus that slips right into my body. And suddenly, I’m laughing, too.
Gradually, he gains control of himself, his laughs becoming chuckles, his chuckles tapering off to delighted sighs. Turning to face me, he swipes at the tears on his face.
When our eyes lock, my laughter explodes into sobs as everything that’s happened today crashes into me.
Embarrassed, I bury my face in my hands, and just like Gavin Lake, I try to control the whimpers that scorch my throat.
Then his strong arms encircle me and hold me protectively against him. I’m not scared. I don’t think I’ve ever been afraid of him. Just hateful and angry. All built on my father’s lies.
But I don’t need to be hugged, to be held, to be cared for. I’m strong, resilient. I don’t need his comfort. Yet I can’t pull away.
What can it hurt to give myself just one moment of vulnerability? Sliding my hands from my face, I lean into him and wrap my arms around his waist. It feels so fucking good. And so foreign. I struggle to remember the last time I was held. Apart from Anika’s hugs when she was little, I realise it’s been almost as long as Gavin spent in prison.
That thought alone releases something entombed deep inside me. It crawls out of the dark and floods every inch of my being. And I let it.
