Page 48 of Into These Eyes
“So, spill,” Benny says, then raises his mug and takes a sip.
“I spent the night with Jamie Evans.”
Yep, I’m an idiot. A fine mist of milky coffee sprays across the table as Benny chokes on the hot liquid.
“Fuck, Benny,” I grumble, sliding out from the table to grab some paper towels. By the time I wipe myself down and clean the tabletop, he’s finally gained some semblance of control.
“Your fault,” he huffs. “Don’t go tellin’ stupid jokes when I’m tryin’ ta get my fix.”
“It’s not a joke.”
“Bullshit. You know ya go anywhere near her, she’ll have the cops on ya like you’re a terrorist. Ya need to stop with this fuckin’ obsession.”
“Shecame to seeme.”
“What?” He sits up straighter, the frown lines on his forehead deepening.
“She told me … she knows I’m innocent.”
He blinks, and I realise he’s having the same reaction I had. Disbelief. Then he grins, and those missing teeth at the back of his mouth make a rare appearance. He knows what someone else believing I’m innocent means to me. He also knows what it means coming from Jamie Evans herself.
“You’re not shittin’ me?”
“I’m most definitely not.”
“But how?” he asks, leaning forward.
“Seems my theory was right. Her father confessed on his deathbed.”
I recount her visit, and Benny is just as surprised and impressed as I am that she didn’t keep it to herself. Leaving out anything she’d find embarrassing, I fill him in on last night andthis morning, wrapping up with her genuine offer to help clear my name.
“And that changes everything we planned,” I say, dreading his reaction, but relieved to the bottom of my soul that Jamie’s visit might be the very thing to finally put an end to Benny’s crazy idea. And hopefully get me out of the lie I told him without ever having to reveal I lied.
Agitated, he gets up and paces beside the table.
“Don’t ya see?” he finally says. “This changes nothin’ when it comes ta Reid. He still fucked ya over. He still deserves what’s comin’ his way.”
I don’t dispute any of that, but although I’d agreed to Benny’s plan, I only did so to placate him. I never, ever intended to go through with it. It’s the one and only lie I’ve ever told him. I’m ashamed about that, but he’d been so distressed about his release, I’d had a horrible feeling he might do something drastic to keep himself behind bars. That’s why I gave him something to cling to. A purpose. That’s why I lied.
I’ve never been a killer, and I never will be, no matter how much Benny thinks Reid deserves to die.
“Think of it this way. Getting my conviction quashed means Reid’ll get what’s coming to him. It just won’t be the way we thought it’d be,” I try to reason. “I’m sure it’ll mean the end of his career. He’ll probably face charges. Hopefully end up in prison himself. So, we stand back and let the law do its thing.”
Benny scoffs. “What? Like the way the law did its thing when it convicted you of a crime ya didn’t commit? That way?”
“It’s usually more right than wrong.”
“Fuck off!” he shouts, his eyes burning into mine. He’s coming across angry, but I know it’s really disappointment. And fear.
“Benny, I’ve decided. I’m giving this a shot. I want a life. Ineeda life. And if there’s even a microscopic chance she can give that to me, I’m taking it.”
His fist strikes the table beside me. “And what about me? Huh? What life do I get?”
Keeping my cool, I stare up at him. Whatever I say will be meaningless when he’s in this state. He paces again before slamming his open palm on the table.
“I can't live like this, Gav. Prison’s my home. Not this … whatever the fuck this is. I don’t want it. The freedom … it’s—”
“Terrifying. I know. I felt the same way when I first—”
