Page 69 of Into These Eyes
His insinuation has my pulse tripping over itself. Completely flustered, I blurt. “He’s … well, I think he’s pretty amazing. I just—”
“Amazin’ huh?”
Shit. “I meant, it’s pretty amazing that he came out of prison the man he is. Knowing no one believed him and probably never would … I can’t even imagine.”
Benny’s smile fades as he stares at the endless stretch of beach before us. “I believed him.”
“I’ve wondered why you did. The cliché that every prisoner claims they’re innocent exists for a reason.”
“I s’pose, at first, I didn’t. But when I got ta know him, it was obvious. That kid didn’t have a murderous bone in his body.”
Though I don’t know Gavin all that well, that statement rings true. “How did he survive all those years?”
“He did it himself without even realisin’.”
I cock my head as something darkness drapes over Benny’s eyes when he glances at me. I don’t want to push, and maybe it’s Gavin I should be asking, but if Benny’s right and Gavin doesn’t even realise how he made it through, then Benny’s my only link to that information. “How?” I ask.
He sighs heavily and shoves his hands in his pockets. When his gaze returns to the beach, I’m sure he’s only seeing the memory that’s playing in his mind.
“He’d been transferred from remand ta the supermax for about a week. Found him in the showers. Three arseholes had him cornered. Good lookin’ guy like Gav … was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Oh, God,” I gasp, clamping a hand over my mouth. Fuck. Remembering how I once hoped something like that would happen to him churns my stomach. I’d thought he’d deserved it. The terror he must have gone through. And he shouldn’t have even been there in the first place.
Benny pats my shoulder, bringing me back out of myself. “Haven’t finished the story yet, so don’t go gettin’ ya knickers in a knot.”
I remove my hand from my mouth and stare at him with wide eyes, desperate for him to continue.
“Was just about ta go get some mates, when I saw somethin’ come over the kid’s face. Think he knew right then that he wouldn’t survive what they were gonna do to him. Better he die then and there fightin’ those pricks. This wildness came over him, like he wasn’t human. He turned into somethin’ feral, and he fought those arseholes like a savage beast. There was no skill in it. Just pure fuckin’ determination and craziness. Don’t get me wrong, those guys put up a fight, but they saw what I saw. Fuckwits didn’t stop, though. Gav ended up puttin’ them all in the infirmary. He took a goddamn beatin’, but that’s all he took. After that, and after I convinced him ta shave his head and grow a beard ta hide those pretty-boy looks, no one ever touched him again.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, blinking at the tears that threaten. I can’t even imagine the strength it must have taken to fight off three men. From what Benny just described, it sounded like he wouldn’t have stopped until he was dead. His resilience astounds me. “He told me it was you who got him through it.”
Benny shrugs. “He earned my respect … everyone’s. That’s how he survived. And by learnin’ to hide who he really is on the inside.”
“Except from you. I don’t think you’re giving yourself anywhere near enough credit, Benny.”
He gives me a sideways glance and a crooked smile. “S’pose I can take some of it. But not all. There was someone else who got him through it, too.”
“Oh? He’s only ever talked about you.”
“Then that’s where we better leave it. Can’t go tellin’ you all his stories. Gotta leave some for him to tell you himself, right?”
A little disappointed, I nod. I don’t think Gavin will ever tell me the story I just heard. Benny’s right, though. They’re Gavin’s stories to tell.
After walking in silence for a while, I ask, “So, what about you? Gavin told me you were convicted of two murders, but both were in defence of another. I’d love to hear what happened.”
“Happy to talk ya ear off, love. Second prick I killed was tryin’ it on with a newbie. I ripped the arsehole off the skinny runt. Idiot tripped over his own feet and smashed his skull on the edge of a toilet. No one believed it was an accident, so I got another twenty.”
As we walk along the wet sand, I listen to everything Benny’s been through in his life. It’s harrowing and unfair, but he doesn’t seem bitter. To him, it’s just the way his life turned out. But hearing his story makes me cringe inside. I’m the person who tries to keep people like him in prison. Listening to the reasons why he ended up incarcerated in the first place, then his second conviction, has me feeling dirty about my career again.
After listening to more of Benny’s prison stories, I finally spot Gavin walking toward us in the distance. The first thing I notice is the sheen of sweat shining in the sunlight on his bare chest. Why disgusting man-sweat has me intrigued just because it’s all overhim, is baffling.
When he draws a little closer, I notice something dark over his left pec. From this distance, it’s just a blob with no definitive shape. So, he does have a tattoo after all. And the fact that it appears to be the only one he has, tells me it holds significant meaning.
Eager to see what it is, my eyes remain riveted as the distance between us narrows. But just as the tattoo begins to take on a distinctive shape, he unfurls his t-shirt and shoves it over his head. I know he’s hiding it from me, because he hadn’t bothered covering up when other people passed him. It definitely meanssomething. Something he doesn’t want to share with me. And for some reason, that hurts.
Which is ridiculous. We barely know each other.
Close now, he breaks into a jog and sails straight past Benny and I with a smirk on his face.
