Page 94 of Into These Eyes
“Wow,” she says, the change in her tone putting me on alert. “I give you praise, and you give me … what was that?”
She’s lost me, her mind ticking over into thoughts I can’t grasp. “I was giving you a compliment.”
“Is being called better than a criminal a compliment?”
I’m an idiot. She’s right. My life experience and hers are worlds apart. I can’t change that, but I can change my compliment.
“Jamie?” When she looks at me, the vulnerability staring back stops my heart. I’m starting to realise her self-assured confidence and strength only seem to apply to her professional life. When it comes to what’s deeply personal, she’s painfully, exquisitely insecure. “I’ve already told you, but I have no problem saying it again. You’re gorgeous.”
She lets out a sharp scoff, her gaze riveted to the empty plate in front of her.
“Jamie … look at me.” When she refuses, I gently touch her jaw. After a moment, she peers at me from beneath those dark lashes.
And I see it. She doesn’t believe me, and I find that absolutely astounding. Has no one told her how beautiful she is? How there’s a light that shines from her eyes that’s dazzling? There’s no way she’s been able to avoid being the object of a man’s desire.
“How do you not know this?” I ask.
She stares at me, utterly confused. “Know what?”
“That you’re the most striking woman I’ve ever seen … ever imagined. You can stop a man in his tracks and make him forget where he’s going, what he’s doing, and make him wonder why he’s doing anything at all other than trying to get to know you.”
Now she’s blinking fast, her eyes brimming with water. I may have overshot, but as long as she heard me, I don’t give a damn.
“Your rules. No lying,” I remind her. “Tell me why you don’t know that.”
She closes her eyes. I’m not sure if she’s trying to avoid mine or trying to invent an answer. Either way, I have all the patience in the world.
Taking a deep breath, she mumbles, “I’ve never really put any thought into it.”
“But you must have had men tell you, show you?”
“No,” she barely whispers.
I want to explode at the thought that no one’s told her how spectacular she is in every way. “What sort of dickheads have you been seeing, when clearly you could have your pick? You must have men lining up around the corner for a chance to—”
“I don’t want men lining up to fuck me.” Her eyes flash with anger before she turns her face away.
I dig my fingers into my thigh, intrigued as to why she’s so fired up. Since she hasn’t told me to mind my own business, I don’t.
“I was going to saydate you.” Studying her profile, I note the clench of her jaw, the colour burning her cheeks. Even though she won’t look at me, she hasn’t run away. “Did someone … hurt you?”
She scoffs. “No. I’m just a pathetic loser.”
Relief sweeps through me, and I have to struggle against the urge to pull her into my arms and show her without words that she’s not a pathetic loser. Where did she even get that idea?
“You’ll have to explain that one to me. From where I sit, you’re a successful, independent woman who has her life totally put together.”
She stares at my chest. “Not totally. That … dating part of my life … That’s basically non-existent.”
Unable to help myself, I reach out and cover the hand she has resting on the counter. “Why?” I ask quietly. Finally, she looks into my eyes, her expression pained.
“While you’ve been in a real prison, I put that part of myself in a prison of my own making. Studying, looking after Anika and Dad, then working. I didn’t have anything left to give, let alone the time. I locked that part of my life away and got on with what had to be done.” She takes a deep breath. “Let’s face it, I wasn’t an attractive package. Playing mother to my sister while living at home with my father … What sort of guy wants to get involved with that?”
“One with understanding and depth.”
She scoffs. “Exactly why I’m still single.”
Surprised by her insight, I rub my thumb over the back of her hand. “You were dealing with a shitload of pressure and responsibility. All thrust on you when you were way too young.” She searches my eyes, and I hope she finds the truth there.
