Page 183 of Cerulean Truth
Matthew shrugged, as if that wasn't important. Really? I was about toexplode.
"Might be a few days, weeks... I don't really know."
I gasped. A few weeks? Since my “blood-theft,” I hadn't gone more than four days without him! Now I had to miss him forweeks? What the damn hell?
"He'll be back before you know it!" Jackson tried to cheer me up, nudging his friend with his elbow.
"Whatever," I mumbled and turned away angrily, seriously disappointed in all male human beings.
My entire body was shaking with emotion. After all we'd been through, after all the fights, the makeups, the kisses (and more),the feelings, the talks, he thought he could just leave and say nothing? Is that all we were to him? All I was to him?
I felt tears prickling behind my eyes, and though he wasn't worth shedding even one, I couldn't keep them from spilling over. Two minutes later, I found myself sitting on a bench in the Atrium, full-on crying.
"Emma?" a concerned voice penetrated my cloud of emotional drainage. Julian. Of course. I wiped my face with my sleeve and looked up at him as he stared down at me.
"What's wrong?" I could see the worry on his face, but I couldn't find the words to soothe him. Hell, I couldn't soothe myself.
"James is being an asshole," I muttered through my tears.
Julian nodded and sat down next to me. "He's reacting badly to my presence, Emma. I think he cares about you too much to share you with anyone, even with me. If you think about it, it's actually quite romantic."
I scoffed. "If that's what romance is all about, then thanks but no thanks."
Julian chuckled. "It'll get easier. I'm not staying for long, and I'll bet you anything he'll go back to normal once I'm gone."
I shrugged, little good did that do me now. Besides, I didn’t even know what “normal” was for us.
"He seems to think you have an agenda," I confessed, tired of not talking about it. "He’s still upset about Alliance. Plus, he thinks it's too coincidental that we know each other from before and you coming here now, only moments after I was found."
Julian stayed silent.
"He's not completely wrong." He sighed. "But trust me, Emma, when I say that any motive I have is solely for your benefit."
I frowned; that was rather cryptic. "What do you mean?"
"I can't get into it now, but... can you just trust me on it?"
"I don't understand. What are you saying? That he's been right all along?" I rose to my feet, unable to shake the unnerving feeling creeping its way into my core. For weeks, I had been defending him to James, and now Julian was suggesting I might have been wrong this entire time in doing so?
Julian stood up slowly as well. "I wish I could tell you more, my dear friend, but for now, trust me when I say I have no desire to cause you or anyone you hold dear any harm."
Well, that was reassuring. I wanted to yell at Julian, to direct all my anger onto him. But I was still too upset with James for leaving without a word, and now I was frustrated with myself for not believing him and essentially chasing him away.
I just didn't have it in me to be angry at yet another person. Plus, I really needed a friend. I sat back down and took Julian's hand, pulling him down next to me. "You know what, friend? You'll tell me when you're ready. Whatever the true reason you're here, I'm just happy you are."
He smiled and squeezed my hand. "So am I."
That night,upon returning to my dorm, I checked my Nexus for the hundredth time, yet still no message from James. I almost nexed him myself... ten times even... but could muster just enough pride to keep myself from doing so. After all, he was the one who left; he should be the one to reach out first.
I slept horribly that night. And the night after. Soon, it was three days without any news from James, and I felt like I was going crazy. My insecurities, fears of losing him, struggles with translation (that I couldn't talk to anyone about), and, most significantly, just missing him were driving me insane.
On the third day after James left Cyclos, I channeled all my frustration into Offensive training, a responsibility Julian had taken upon himself to oversee. While Julian proved to be a competent trainer, he couldn't quite match James's intense training skills.
The same morning, I had opened up to Julian about my struggles with translation, though not divulging everything. I refrained from sharing the fact that my translation was untraceable; James would've been furious if I revealed that detail. However, I did confide in Julian I could only translate when I felt my life was in danger.
He had been surprisingly supportive of it and had offered to help me with my training whenever I wanted.
Every thought of James sent a pang through my heart, followed by a torrent of curses for leaving me.
