Page 11 of Overdue Feelings
“I’m sure she’s moved on by now, Ares. That fast tale girl was never good enough for you.”
“Mom, don’t start. This isn’t about her.” My throat tightened. My return to Harvest wasn’t just about Creek. It was about everything I’d lost over the years. I’d lost myself, but I guess to my mom, that was a good thing. Being myself was never good enough for her.
“Well, how long are you staying?”
“I’m not sure,” I told her, opting out of telling her I’d taken a job. I didn’t want to send my mother to an early grave.
“I hope just for a few hours.”
“I don’t know, Mom… umm… I’ll call you tomorrow.” I stood from the bed.
“Okay. Well, I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too, Mom.” I hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. The weight of my mother’s expectations settled in my chest like they always had. She truly believed that being better meantbeing awayfrom Harvest.
My parents never understood how much I loved it here. They never understood why I spent so many long nights hanging out with Creek and Zae. My parents used to say they were distractions. That I didn’t need friends, I needed focus, and at one point, I believed them.
Picking my phone back up, I went to the Notes app and scrolled down to the folder marked Creek and Zae. I hadn’t looked at this Notes tab in years. This was where I kept the letters, the texts, the just thinking about you thoughts.
At first, I didn’t reach out because I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to make leaving Creek after she shared herself with me better. Didn’t know how to fix the trust I’d broken with Zae. The longer I waited, the more ashamed I became that I hadn’t reached out. Then weeks turned into months, and thenmonths turned into years, and years turned into pretending that I didn’t miss them. Didn’t miss her.
I closed the Notes app and threw my phone back onto the bed. I didn’t know what I was doing here, but maybe it was finally time for me to let go of the version of myself my parents wanted me to be and be the version of myself that gave me peace.
The first weekof school always felt like I’d stepped onto a treadmill that was going fifteen miles per hour, but add to it the man who ghosted me twelve years ago sharing my space, and I was officially spiraling. I couldn’t remember my coffee in the morning, I was shelving books in the wrong sections, and avoiding my old storage closet like the plague. Not to mention the way “nurse’s office” had become the official trigger word for my anxiety.
Having Ares Knight this close to me was altogether throwing off my mental state. We had barely said two words to each other, but the silence between us was loud. It was so loud, I wanted nothing more than to turn it off and make him go away.
“Miss Delaney?” The library door cracked open, and a little voice called my name, forcing me to look up to see a little first grader stumbling into the library.
“Hey, Christian, are you okay?”
“My stomach hurts really bad. I need to go to the nurse,” he whined. I set down my pen and glanced at him. His eyes were running, and all the color had drained from his face.
“Oh, poor baby. The nurse’s office is right there.” I pointed him in the direction of my back closet.
“Can you walk me, Miss Delaney?”
“Um…” I hesitated. I hadn’t gone back there. I didn’t want to see Ares, didn’t know what to say to him. I mean, what was I supposed to say to him? I looked up at Christian, who was curled over, holding his stomach. He looked so scared. Swallowing down my pride, I stood to my feet. Christian needed me. The drama with Ares could wait.
“Of course. Come on. I’ll walk you over,” I said softly, rounding the bookshelf and grabbing his hand. “Dr. Knight will get you feeling better.”
“Is he nice?” Christian asked as we made our way through the library. I rolled my eyes.If leaving your best friend for twelve years is nice.
“The new nurse is still getting settled in. So take it easy on him.”
“I brought this,” Christian whispered seriously, holding up a brown napkin I didn’t see tucked at his side. “Just in case I throw up.”
“Good thinking.” I smiled, trying not to laugh as we made it to the nurse’s office. “We’re here.” I knocked once before pushing open the door.
“Nurse Knight… you have a little visitor,” I said, making him look up from his desk. “He’s complaining of a stomachache.” Ipushed Christian inside. Ares stared at me for a second, and our eyes locked before he glanced down at Christian.
“Hey, little guy. Upset tummy, huh? Come have a seat.” He motioned Christian over to the empty bench next to his desk. Christian slid onto the bench, clutching his stomach like it was about to fall off.
“He looks a little flushed too,” I said quickly.
“I’ll take care of him,” Ares replied, and I started to back up out the door.
“Miss Delaney?” Christian called. “Can you stay?”
