Page 23 of Overdue Feelings
“Go on. Say what you need to say. I’ll be right here when it’s done.”
I nodded, then I walked through the house, past the kitchen, and out the back door toward the sun porch. The door creaked opened slowly, and I stepped outside. Ares was sitting on the couch. His head was down, and his phone was in his hand. He stood slowly and walked over to me.
“You look stunning.”
“You always say that when you’re nervous.” I let out a quiet laugh that broke the ice.
“Am I that routine?” He scratched the back of his neck.
“You are.”
“We should sit.” He led me over to the couch, and we took a seat across from each other. Ares handed me his phone. The screen was already unlocked and on a folder labeledCreek Letters.
“I wrote you. Not every day but often. Stuff I didn’t have the balls to reach out to you and say. The days… they got away from me. Then I was just too embarrassed to reach out.”
I opened the first note and read it.
Creek,
I should’ve stayed. I was scared. I’m sorry.
Then the second one.
Creek, Happy twenty first birthday. I saw your birthday photos on Picsgram. You looked beautiful.
Then another one.
The way I loved you was quiet, but it was real. I graduated college today and should be happy but all I could think about was how you weren’t there.
Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, but I blinked them back as I continued to scroll through the notes. There were so many. Hundreds.
“I waited for you.” I finally spoke quietly. “Thought for sure you’d come back. That you’d reach out on my birthday or at Christmas, or just on a random Tuesday, but you never did. Never said a word. And I hated myself for it. Hated myself for keeping hope alive that a person I loved didn’t care enough to love me back.”
“I hated me for it too,” he whispered. “I watched you from a distance. Got updates through people I barely spoke to when Ilived here until it was too much. I was a coward. A little ass boy doing what my parents said. I’m not that man anymore.”
I stared at him. I heard his words, his apology, and I believed him. I closed out the Notes app on the phone and hung it in the air. If I kept looking, I would for sure cry.
“I understand if you’re still mad.” He reached over and gently took his phone from my hands.
“I was, but… I think I’m tired of being mad.”
“I just wanna be near you again, C. However you’ll have me. However Zae will allow.”
We sat there for a minute, everything was quiet, but the air between us was different—lighter.
I exhaled. “I missed you.”
“I missed you more.”
The porch door creaked, and Zae stepped out, holding a bottle of something dark and three red cups.
“We good?” Ares and I both nodded. “Good. Figured we should celebrate. It’s not every day a twelve year friendship fallout is resolved.”
He passed the cups around and sat back in the chair across from us, and for the first time in over twelve years, the three of us enjoyed each other’s company. We laughed, talked shit, and reminisced like nothing had ever gone wrong between us.
“Aye, you remember when we got caught sneaking outta Sweet Pea trying to bring Creek some ice cream after she got her tonsils out?”
I snorted, barely able to control my laughter. “Y’all got in hella trouble. Whose idea was that again?”
