Page 29 of Overdue Feelings
“Never scared.” I put my hand in his and we made our way over to the Ferris wheel laughing and giggling like school kids.
“Last cycle of the night,” the attendant announced as we approached. The ferris wheel line had drastically dwindled down from the crowd it had all day.
“After you, beautiful.”
We stepped right on and got situated, and the pod started climbing slowly into the air. I blew out a deep breath. I wasn’tscared, but my stomach still did that little flip it always did. I wasn’t sure if that was from the ride or being up here with Ares. I glanced over, and it took everything in me not to laugh. He was gripping the railing like he didn’t trust the entire ride not to collapse. His jaw was tight as he looked straight ahead.
“You good?” I asked, biting back my grin.
“I’m great.” He side eyed me. “You good?”
“Peaceful.” I laughed, turning back toward the view.
The carnival lights below were fading into a blur. The lake shimmered beside us. It was beautiful up here. Quiet. All the noise of the outside world had been drowned out. Ares pulled me into his body, finally looking down, relaxing into the seat.
“This was always your thing,” he said quietly. “You loved the carnivals.”
“I still do. I wish I wasn’t stuck working them, but it’s still a good time.”
“That it is.”
“Did you enjoy yourself? This being your first one back and all.”
“It was perfect. I applied about seventy-two band-aids.”
I laughed again, softer this time. The air was cooler up here. Crisp against my skin. The higher we climbed, the more the rest of the world felt far away.
“So how are you really doing since coming back?” I asked.
“Coming back has been the best decision I’ve made.”
“You make New York sound all bad. You had an entire clinic, and I know you had hoes.”
He grinned. “I had a girlfriend, until she dumped my ass. Said I was too boring, too routine, and she was right. I closed the practice officially last week.”
My mouth dropped open.
“Wow!”
“What about you? How are you holding up? I know my return has sparked a lot of shit.”
“As okay as someone who spent the week googling how polyamory works.”
He laughed. I hadn’t said it to be funny, but I laughed too.
“What you find?”
“A whole lot of information saying absolutely nothing.”
We laughed again.
“You having doubts?”
“No, I’m not conflicted. I love Isaiah, and I love you. I’m just trying to figure out how this all works. Where we go from here.”
“I don’t think we gotta have all the answers right now. I think the biggest thing is being honest.”
I nodded, letting the quiet hold us for a moment as I looked over at him. Really looked at him. This wasn’t the boy who left me with a heart full of firsts and no goodbye. This was a man rebuilding. A man learning how to be his own man. We reached the top of the wheel.
