Page 1 of Choosing Her
CHAPTER 1
saylor
The daymy sister broke up with the love of my life, it was sunny and warm. They were out swimming in our backyard pool, while I was hiding inside, so that I wouldn’t have to be anywhere near him. If I’d known she was planning to break his heart that day, I might have come out to watch.
See, this whole “love of my life” thing was complicated. Because there was one half of my heart that loved him, would always love him, and wanted to be with him forever. That part of my heart was the one responsible for me carrying around a polaroid in my back pocket all summer, like I thought one day I might whip it out and remind him that there had been a time—one, magical night—where he looked at me the way he now looked at her. The other half of my heart was the realist, the one that had ruled me for most of my life. That part was the one responsible for me never telling Naomi what happened between Crossy and me. It was the part of me that knew soulmates did not exist and one night wasn’t enough to fall in love.
The two halves together were what made me want to hate him.
“Maybe I should have been nicer,” Naomi said after Crossy left. He hadn’t been crying or looking even close to it, but shewas convinced he was only putting on a brave face until he went home. I thought that he just didn’t know how to cry. And the piece of me that hated him—really, truly hated him for falling in love with my sister instead of me—thought that maybe, he just wasn’t capable of any complex emotions.
“No,” I said. “I think you were just harsh enough.”
Even though I hadn’t actually seen the break-up happen, that sentiment seemed to make her feel better, and she took me out to get a slushy and enjoy the hot summer day.
A week later, she was over him.
Three months later, I was even more in love.
CHAPTER 2
saylor
I walkedout of the stables, holding my riding helmet in one hand and using the other to undo my tight French braids. My scalp was aching, my muscles were sore, and all I could think about was taking a hot shower to get all this sweat and grime off of me. The sun was going down, casting an orangey hue over the campus and making it almost impossible to see, but I could walk the downhill path from the stables to my dorm room in my sleep.
“Heads!” Someone yelled as I walked by the outdoor basketball court behind the two large dorm houses. I immediately ducked, even though I saw the ball go soaring the opposite way, toward the boys’ dorm. It bounced along the path a couple times, before coming to a stop at the foot of a brown-haired boy sitting in the grass. Without meaning to, I came to a stop and watched as he grabbed the ball. With his head tilted down and the sun behind him, it was impossible to see his face, but that didn’t stop me from watching—certain that it washim.
Ever since school started up again, it was like Caleb Cross was everywhere. In that month after our kiss—before he’d apparently left on a semester-long exchange to London—I hadn’t run into him once. If Naomi hadn’t later told me he went to our school, I never would have guessed it. But then the newschool year started and suddenly, I couldn’t get away from him. If I lined up in the cafeteria, he was two spots ahead of me. If I went to the beach, he was there with his friends. I thought we’d have no classes together and then he switched into my English Literature class two weeks into term. It was like he was my very unwanted shadow, never too far away.
The boy took a step forward to throw the ball back to the group on the court, which let me see his face clearly, and I realized he wasn’t who I thought at all. He had to be a freshman with how young he looked, and now that I could see clearer, I realized his hair didn’t look anything like Crossy’s anyway. Great—not only did I have to see the spawn of satan all over the place, I was also starting toimaginehim everywhere too.
I rolled my eyes and kept walking toward the dorm. I started to run my hands through my hair now that the braids were completely undone and wondered if any of the showers would be free. Unfortunately, most of the girls on my floor preferred showering in the evenings since nobody wanted to get up early enough to wash and dry their hair in the morning, so getting a shower in before curfew was sometimes near impossible.
“Saylor!” A girl called, just as my foot hit the first concrete step leading up to the dorms. I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to answer them or if I could get away with pretending I didn’t hear. But the hesitation was obviously enough for them to realize that I heard, because it was followed up by, “Come over here! I have something for you.”
I let out a sigh and dropped my foot back to the ground again and turned to see who was calling me. The voice came from the opposite direction than the sun, so at least I could see. The girl waving a hand to catch my attention was Julia, my dorm advisor, who was sitting in the Muskoka chairs by the lake with some of the other dorm advisors. My muscles screamed in protest as I started toward them.
“What’s up?” I asked as I reached them. The dorm advisors were all about twenty and more often than not could be found sitting in these chairs, which were set up in a semicircle around a little fire pit. Julia was sitting sideways in her chair, with her feet resting on the arm of the chair, and was dressed in a Hartwell sweater with her curly hair thrown in a bun. If I didn’t know better, I would have assumed she was a senior, rather than someone who worked here.
“Your sister dropped this off for you,” Julia said. She pulled something out of her pocket and passed it over to me. I wasn’t surprised to see it was a postcard, though I wasn’t sure why Naomi gave it to Julia instead of sliding it under my door like she usually did. “Looks like it’s from Greece. Your parents there?”
I felt a flash of annoyance that she’d looked at it long enough to know that it was from Greece, even though I knew the photo on the front was pretty obvious about it. But still, it wasn’t her letter. Not that it was really for me, either, even if Naomi passed it along like it was. She always did.
“I guess,” I said, turning it over in my hands a couple times. Truthfully, I had no idea what country my parents were in right now.
“You must go on such amazing trips with them,” she said wistfully.
“Mh-hm,” I said noncommittally. It was the same assumption everyone had when I told them about how my parents had taken a year off to travel the world. The part that I never told anyone was that I rarely went on trips with them. “Anyway, I should go start on my homework. See you later.”
They all mumbled some half-hearted goodbyes and by the time I was two steps away, were back to gossiping. I read the back of the postcard as I walked, my eyes running easily over my mom’s perfect calligraphy.
Dear Naomi,
Greece has been so wonderful. Travelling just the two of us is certainly ideal. Of course, I’m sure you’re having just as much fun at school—as long as you’re keeping your grades up! Say hi to Rebecca for us.
Love,
Mom & Dad
