Page 31 of Choosing Her
“Oh well, uh, Naomi and Saylor, this is…” I’d started the introductions without thinking, but my mistake suddenly became glaringly obvious as I realized I still didn’t know the name of the girl in front of me. I should have gotten Mako to write it on my hand or something. Not Katie or Jessica—thosewere the girls I saw earlier today. Not Caitlin or Cassandra or Kendall.
The silence had gone on too long now. Everybody knew why I wasn't saying anything, so I cleared my throat again and said, “This is my friend.” I tried to make it sound like the end of the sentence, but it still sounded like I was hanging there, waiting for her name to be tacked on. But what was I supposed to say? I didn’t know and I couldn’t just make up a name.
Before I could even begin to think of a solution, coffee was hitting my face. I sputtered from shock and wiped at my eyes, as the girl snapped, “It’s Kira, you jerk!” By the time I could see again, she was gone. But a new person was appearing in her place—Tino, with napkins in hand. I assumed he would just hand them to me, like a normal human being, but he started wiping at my face for me, almost smothering me with the white cloth. And out of the limited vision I had, I saw him smile up at Naomi and Saylor and say, “Sorry, he's still learning how to interact with other people.”
I punched his shoulder until he pulled away. As he did, he muttered something about that being what he got for being such a good friend. I shot him a dirty look as I grabbed the extra napkin he’d left on the table and wiped up the last of the coffee on my face. There was still more all over my shirt and the floor, but I guess I could deal with that later.
“Sorry,” I said to Naomi and Saylor, even though they were the ones who had come and interrupted. Not to mention, they ere both smirking like they’d just seen a great show, so I couldn’t imagine they were too upset.
“Same old Caleb,” Naomi sighed, crossing her arms. “You just don’t know how to keep a girl happy, do you?”
She spun on her heel and flounced off toward the counter. I expected Saylor to go with her, but she continued standing where she was, watching me impassively.
“Are you okay?” She asked eventually. “I mean… she didn’t burn you or anything?”
“No,” I said. I was quickly losing my train of thought as I felt her gaze move over me, like she thought I might be hiding third degree burns under my shirt or something. “No, it wasn’t that hot.”
Saylor’s eyes drifted back up to mine and she held my gaze for a few moments too long. It had been a while since I’d looked into her eyes like this. Had they always been such a pretty light brown? I swore I remembered them darker.
“Rebecca!” Naomi yelled from across the room. Saylor started walking backwards, taking such small steps that she was barely moving. If I didn’t know better, I might have thought she wanted to stay with me.
“Nice drink,” she mumbled. Then she turned around and ran to catch up with Naomi, who was already ordering. I glanced at the cup in front of me and smiled.
Iced coffee with a shot of caramel. I didn’t even like caramel that much, but she’d looked so happy when she drank the one I brought her the other day—eyes closed as she took a sip, a long sigh of contentment after each taste—that when the barista asked me what I wanted to drink, it was the only thing that had come to mind.
CHAPTER 17
saylor
I trailedafter Naomi as she led the way to a table on the patio of the cafe, glancing over my shoulder at Crossy every few seconds. He wasn’t alone at the table anymore—not only was Tino still there but Mako and Bear had appeared out of nowhere and were now sitting with him too.
“So, let me tell you about Jared,” Naomi said as we sat down. I forced my gaze onto her, so she wouldn’t ask me why I kept looking through the window of the cafe. As far as Naomi was concerned, my only interaction with Crossy since the breakup was giving him the bag of his stuff and I preferred to keep to that way. I’d casually mentioned that his friend was dating Poppy so she wouldn’t ask too many questions if she saw me around him, but I also didn’t want to go out of my way to make her think we were spending time together. Maybe, a little bit, because I was worried she would ask me not to see him anymore, even in those situations, and I wasn’t sure how I could say no.
“Jared,” I said slowly, trying to remember who he was. Honestly, my sister went through boyfriends so quickly that it was hard to keep track. Since Crossy, she’d dated at least six boys. She hadn’t told me much about any of them, since we didn’t speak much when we were at school. I was only in townwith her because none of her friends were free and she thought she would seem pathetic to go out on her own. I wasn’t sure dragging me along was much better, but I didn’t argue, just like always.
“The football player,” she prompted, tossing some of her glossy brown hair over her shoulder.
“Right, of course.” I nodded as if I remembered who she was talking about, although I couldn’t remember her mentioning him at all before this. It was easier to act like I knew what she meant, because she would just get mad if I said she hadn’t told me, and then we would fight.
“He’s really cute,” Naomi said. She took a sip of her drink, looking thoughtful. “I mean, a football player isn’t really my type, but he’s super popular and…” She trailed off, and this time, she was the one who looked through the window of the cafe. I felt an irrational twinge of anger when I realized she was looking at Crossy. Why was she looking at him while talking about her new boyfriend? She was the one who broke up with him. She left him, talked down about him, and forced me to take his stuff back to him so she didn’t have to see him. So how dare she look at him now as if she deserved to think about him at all?
“He’s not as good a kisser as Caleb,” she sighed. I blinked at her, not sure how to respond to that. Of course, I knew what a good kisser Crossy was. I was much more familiar with that fact that I wanted to be, seeing how often I dreamt about that night. But Naomi didn’t know that, so I could nod along with it. I couldn’t say anything that I was thinking, likeyeah I’m sure he’s the best kisser in the world, because I couldn’t risk her wondering why I knew. And, to an extent, I didn’t want to agree with her because I didn’t want to validate whatever feelings she was having right now. Crossy wasn’t hers. She didn’t deserve to miss him.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, trying to sound neutral and not at all like I wanted to yell at her not to think about Crossy.
Naomi sighed and stirred her drink with her straw. She looked into the cafe again briefly then stared somewhere over my shoulder, squinting in the afternoon sun.
“Sometimes, I wonder if I should just get back together with Caleb.”
If anyone ever asked what it felt like for your heart to stop, I would refer them to that moment. I stared at her blankly for much longer than was appropriate, then realized I needed to dosomething, so I took the lid off my drink and started flat out chugging. It probably didn’t make look any more normal, but at least it gave me a moment to think.
Naomi couldn’t get back together with Crossy. There was about a thousand reasons why that was a terrible idea. The biggest one was that it was obvious to anyone but her that they weren’t a good match. Actually, until right this moment, I thought she was very aware of it too. I always got the sense that Naomi had only kept Crossy around because she didn’t have anyone else on her exchange. It only took a few weeks after getting back for her to find someone she liked better and leave Crossy in the dust. Why would she want to go back to him after that? And besides, if she got back together with him, there was no way he and I could hide that I’d been tutoring him for over a week now. It was bound to come out that we’d been hiding it and she would get upset and probably break up with him all over again, then destroy my life.
“If you’re with a new guy and thinking about the old one,” Naomi continued, “that’s a sign that you belong with the old one. Don’t you think?”
She genuinely thought she belonged with Crossy?MyCrossy?
I blinked in surprise at where my own thoughts had turned as Naomi continued to ramble on about the one who got away. Crossy wasn’t mine. He’d never been mine, except maybe for those few hours I’d had him on New Year’s Eve. And I didn’t want him, anyway. See, I knew agreeing to tutor him was a bad idea—it was leaving me with these ideas that Crossy actually belonged in my life, when I knew he didn’t. I’d spent months carefully working to get over him, only to have it all come crashing down around me within weeks of getting back to school.
