Page 95 of Touched By a Traitor
“That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I was eager to spend more time with you. Even spend the night here if you’d allow me.”
At his remark, Charlotte froze, her posture stiffening. A single, breathless sound escaped her lips. “Oh…”
His brows drew together, his distress evident. “Your countenance betrays a lack of enthusiasm. Have you forgotten I’m your husband?”
“No, I… I simply found myself unprepared to broach the subject of our marriage,” Charlotte replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Andrew closed the distance between them with purposeful strides, relieving her of the tea trays. After placing them aside, he gently rested his hands on her waist. “Are you content with our present arrangement?” His eyes searched hers with an intensity that made her breath catch.
“Indeed, I could not ask for more.” A timid smile graced her features as her heart thundered.
He bowed his head, nodding solemnly before withdrawing his touch and thrusting his hands into his pockets. “Do you not yearn for something beyond our current… state?”
“To what do you refer?” A mixture of confusion and curiosity swirled in her heart.
“I…” Andrew turned abruptly, a low growl escaping his throat. He paced the room, hand rubbing his jaw as he exhaled deeply. “It has required every ounce of my self-restraint to maintain a respectful distance, to honor your need for time. Though I know my past transgressions were grievous, I haddared to hope you might find it in your heart to grant me a second chance. I fear…” He paused, swallowing hard as his hand moved to massage the nape of his neck. “I fear I may have forever lost my claim to you as my wife. If you believe you can never truly forgive me… never love me as more than a mere companion, I implore you to speak plainly, that I might steel myself for the inevitable.”
He crossed his arms, as if bracing himself against an impending blow to his heart.
“The inevitable?” she echoed, perplexed by his train of thought.
How could he possibly imagine her affections had not been rekindled after all he had done to make amends? He had proven himself a steadfast champion of her causes and aspirations, leveraging his connections to smooth her path. He had catered to her every whim without condition, betraying no hint of his carnal desires save for the scorching gaze that often compelled her to avert her eyes.
For months, Charlotte had grappled with a most unseemly jealousy regarding the women who shared Andrew’s abode, partaking of meals with him and perchance passing his chambers nightly in their night attire, as his need for feminine company surely smoldered. On more than one occasion, she had been sorely tempted to yield to her own desires, to quell the restless yearning that grew ever stronger. Yet she had abstained, reminding herself of his past betrayal and resolving that the opportune moment must arrive on her own terms. He must prove the strength of his devotion, rather than her succumbing to her own insecurities.
Andrew had proven himself as steadfast in his loyalty to her as a barrister to his wig. She had been most relieved to discover from the women who shared his home that he had not strayed.Yet he had not voiced yearning of anything more until this moment.
Exhaling deeply, Andrew tried once more. “Do you not pine for… our tender moments? Our… intimate encounters?”
She shrugged, her eyes staring at her toes while her cheeks flushed crimson with embarrassment.
He paced the room, his agitation evident in his movements, then whirled about abruptly. “Has another captured your affections?”
“I beg your pardon?”
Returning to her side, he fixed her with an intense gaze, his voice quavering. “You are a woman of beauty and intelligence. Surely your professors are predominantly gentlemen, are they not? And these American men… They are of a different ilk. They are exceedingly forward in their pursuit of the fairer sex. Have you perhaps encountered someone whose company you prefer to mine?”
“Certainly not.”
“You speak the truth?”
“Indeed. How could you imagine I would fall so far from grace? I have never forgotten my station as a married woman.”
Andrew shielded his eyes with his hand, his breath coming in heavy inhalations. Charlotte wondered if he might submit to tears.
When at last he revealed his countenance, it bore an expression of profound vulnerability and trepidation. His words left him in haste. “What, then, is to become of us? Have you remained faithful merely out of a sense of duty? Or does your heart harbor affection for me? Might you ever come to love me truly? Do you desire a union in the fullest sense, with love, devotion, and the pleasures of both mind and body?”
“I…” She held his gaze for a moment, torn between revealing the truth and protecting her heart. “Yes, I want it all,” shewhispered, her voice breaking on the words. Tears she hadn’t expected spilled down her cheeks as the confession unlocked something deep within her chest that she’d kept carefully guarded. She felt exposed, vulnerable, as if she’d just handed him her heart on a silver platter.
His hand flew to his mouth, his eyes closing with relief. When he opened them, his eyes were bright with moisture. “I-I am humbled and most grateful for your generosity, truly. I shall endeavor with all my being to ensure you never rue this decision.”
She nodded, feeling a warmth suffuse her being at the prospect of resuming their marital relations. With a deep breath, she sought a final assurance. “I need to know… have there been others?”
“Upon my honor, I have not.”
Nodding once more, she wrapped her arms about her torso, suddenly feeling awkward. Andrew approached with measured steps. When but a hairsbreadth separated them, his broad chest filling her vision, he asked softly, “Might I kiss you?”
Averting her gaze, she nodded, her throat suddenly parched.
