Page 64 of Tied in Knots
“I will,” I say, hating this so much I could curl up in a corner and cry. Seeing as I have never cried in my life, that I can remember anyway, this feeling is horrible and not something that I want to repeat.
“Here,” Harvey says, thrusting a big bottle of water at me. “Drink up, hold it for as long as you can then piss it out. It’ll flush your system.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, taking it, eyes lowered in shame.
I was trying to do the right thing, but it backfired and now I’m the pile of crap prick anyway.
“I don’t regret it,” I say as Harvey and Xander turn to leave. “It’s better than the alternative, and you both know it.”
“Yeah,” Xander says, still so quietly, it’s freaking me out. “We know.”
That’s about as much sympathy and redemption I’m going to get.
But I’ll take it. This will be forgotten by my pack by tomorrow. Faith, however, is another story.
I rip the lid from the bottle and glug down a few mouthfuls, hoping and praying that this helps get rid of the suppressants. I don’t know if it will or not, but I’d dance naked in the rain on the Stratford line Underground if I thought it would help right now.
Slowly, I leave the kitchen and take the stairs, my mood sombre and thoughtful about what words I will use to explain this to Faith.
As it turns out, as soon as I push the door to her bedroom open, a vase comes flying at my head, hitting me, thudding to the floor unbroken and rolling away as Faith shrieks at me in a tone I think only dogs can hear, “You fucking knob!”
ChapterThirty-Four
Faith
“Ow!” Benjamin cries, rubbing his head where the vase hit him.
My instinct is to laugh like a hyena but that would defeat the purpose of showing him how pissed off and hurt I am.
“You have made me feel worthless!” I yell.
“I know, and I’m sorry,” he says, holding up his hands.
He’s clutching a bottle of water like a lifeline, and the fear on his face is pretty funny. I can’t help it.
I giggle.
He scowls at me.
It doesn’t help stop me in the slightest.
He breathes in and straightens up, cautious, but less fearful, until I start bawling my eyes out and crawl back into my nest, flicking the curtain over the entrance to inform him without words that he ispersona non grata.
“Faith,” he calls out.
“You are not welcome in here,” I say with a sniff, just in case he didn’t get the memo.
“I know. I wanted to say how sorry I am, and to explain.”
“Rut suppressants,” I hiss, knowing this is the only thing that could possibly be the cause, because I know it isn’t me. I thought it was in the heat, pardon the pun, of the moment, but then logic struck for a moment before I went all ragey. I saw this with one of Derek’s friends back when I was too young to really understand what was going on. I found out years later he was gay and didn’t want to rut until he figured out how to be a gay alpha. Which he did. Apparently, he is very happy now. But Benjamin doesn’t have that excuse. The only thing I can come up with is that he didn’t want to rut withme.
It fires up my engines again when he gingerly lifts the curtain up to peer inside. “You can totally get knotted, you prick.”
“Please let me explain.”
The desperation in his voice makes me pause. He takes advantage of it and continues quickly. “Yes, it was rut suppressants, but it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
