Page 65 of Tied in Knots
“You have a very expressive face, remember.”
“Dammit,” I mutter.
“It was to stop the rut prior to this one. The one that came while we were searching for you. I didn’t want to act on the rut, and be unfaithful to you, so I suppressed it. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I’m a pillock and yes, I should get knotted. But, please, Faith, don’t think it was your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong.”
I blink and take that in. I didn’t think of that.
“Why didn’t you tell me the other day when we were talking about that kind of stuff?” I ask, expecting a truthful answer.
“I wanted to. I should have, but I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. I thought a week was long enough for it to be out of my system.”
“You really did this so you wouldn’t fuck an omega during your last rut?” I know I shouldn’t, but I feel a bit smug that he would do that for me when he didn’t even know me.
“Yes. God’s honest truth. I was trying to do the right thing for me and for you as well. I’m sorry that I made you feel even for a second that I didn’t knot because of you. Never in a million years would I ever want to hurt you, Faith. It’s the whole reason I did this to begin with. Fuck.”
He drops his face into his hands.
I bite my lip and then sigh. I crawl over to him and take him in my arms. I can’t help it. He seems so lost, so alone.
“You really didn’t think you could get through the rut without it?”
“I know I couldn’t.”
“Could you not have borrowed Gertie?” I try to keep the laugh out of my tone, but I think some of it seeps through.
He peeks up at me through his hands. “You know about Gertie?”
I nod. “Xander doesn’t keep stuff from me.”
“Ouch,” he mumbles. “In hindsight, maybe a Gertie wouldn’t have been such a bad idea.”
“Well, you know what they say, everyone has twenty-twenty vision in hindsight.”
“Do you forgive me, Faith?”
“What for?” I ask, genuinely curious as I don’t think he really has much to ask forgiveness for.
“For making you feel that it was you.”
I swallow and contemplate his words. “Well, I only thought it for a minute.”
“It’s a minute too long.”
I shrug. “It is what it is.”
“Jesus, Faith. Has anyone ever told you, you are fucking hard work to apologise to?” he grouses, almost sulking.
I giggle. “I’ve heard it once or twice. What can I say, I hate confrontation and I’m a people pleaser.”
“The exact opposite of me.”
“And that’s why we will work so well together.” I smile and lean forward to kiss him.
He tangles his fingers in my hair and deepens the kiss for a few seconds before pulling back. “I can’t wait to knot you.”
“When do you think that will be?” I ask, biting my lip.
He heaves a sigh. “I wish I knew. Harvey said to drink up.” He indicates the bottle of water.
