Page 87 of Knot a Tie
“Who’s playing?” I grunt as I move around to make myself more comfortable, and then freeze as the bite Rayne gave me heats up slightly. It’s a reminder to keep still. I definitely caused more damage to myself last night being with her so many times. I couldn’t help it though. The pain disappeared in the moment and all I could feel was happiness and love for her. But in the usual way of the universe, it’s making me pay for it today.
“This is your pack, Rich. Are you taking it back now you’re here?” James asks me bluntly.
He’s done pussyfooting around and is demanding something of me that I can’t give. “I don’t know. Do you want me to?”
“Jesus Christ,” he groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Stop thinking about me for just one second and answer the fucking question. Do you want to be prime alpha now you’re back? Gut instinct, first reaction. Go!”
“No,” I say straight away. “But if you want me to, I will do it.”
“Okay, you totally ruined that. I appreciate you taking me into consideration, but I don’t care one way or the other.”
“Liar,” I say, closing my eyes and resting my weary head on the soft, down pillow. “You care. I just don’t know which way. This isyourpack, Jay, not mine. You built it from the ground up. I wasn’t even here. I don’t know William and Cameron. They came after I left. What right do I have to take this pack from you and lead it?”
“It’s your birthright,” he says quietly.
“Ugh!” I scoff, opening my eyes and glaring at him. “You of all people don’t get to throw that at me.”
“Okay, you want me to ring Dad? I’m sure he’ll have a lot to say when he learns you’re back.”
I hear the bitterness in his voice and feel the weight of the guilt that I’ve been trying to push away for eight years descend on me in one fell swoop. “Please don’t tell him. Not yet.”
“He’s going to find out.”
“I know. Just not yet. Please, just let me heal and fix things with Rayne first.”
“Fix?” He gives me an inquisitive stare.
“This shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have allowed her to bite me until we mated. But she was tending to the wound and her scent got to me, she was so close, her tits bursting to get free from that towel. She gave me a blow job and I fell into the feelings that flooded me. When she was done, she trailed her tongue up my chest and then…”
“I really don’t need the graphic details,” he interrupts sharply.
“I’m not telling you to hurt you, just to make you understand that I was drowning in emotions that were new and confusing. She grazed her teeth over me and then she bit me. There was no thought in it, just action. Instinct.”
“I know.”
“But it was wrong. I should’ve known her doing that, when I’d already bit her and claimed her, would hurt her. I don’t deserve her.”
“Okay, this has spun into a massive pity party for poor Dick,” he practically snarls at me. “If you’re not planning on staying, then you need to tell me right now so I can figure out a way to take care of Rayne after you’ve gone.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I want to stay. I understand why you’re reluctant to trust me, but I’m also aware that we both know if Rayne wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be here. She is the neat little bow that will tie me to this pack again, so you win. Here I am.”
“You’re a fucking bastard,” he hisses. “She is not a tie. You either are here one hundred per cent or you can leave, and I’ll help her get over your loss. She deserves more than that.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Finally, he seems to get it.
He grimaces and turns away. I know he’s going to make the decision for me and that’s what I was hoping for. He will never accept it from me. He needs totakeit.
Facing me again, he gives me a glare that I’m proud of. “I’m staying as the prime alpha of this pack. You will fit into our lives, not the other way around and if youeverhurt Rayne, I will kick your arse so badly, you will feel it for the rest of your life.”
“Deal,” I murmur, thankful this has been sorted. I know that I will never hurt Rayne or leave her. Maybe she will decide one day that I’m not who she thinks I am and leave me, but I’m not going anywhere. I just needed James to get angry enough with me to declare his own intentions. This isn’t my pack. It never was, and never will be. I don’t want it, and I’m happy to slot in wherever. Even if it means sharing a bed with his-prickly-nibs forever. Hopefully, Rayne will take pity on me and allow me to share her nest indefinitely very soon. It looked way cosier and inviting than this bed, especially with her in it.
“Fine,” James states. “I will let the pack know that this has been decided, and we can all move on.”
“Good idea.”
He leaves with a huff, and I relax, glad to be able to shut my eyes, knowing I don’t have to sleep with one eye open and can finally rest.
ChapterForty-Seven
