Page 12 of Tying the Knot
Ten grand.
I look around the house, wondering how the fuck I’m going to pay for everything. The bills and the staff…I can’t even get my head around needing to do that. The ten kay won’t last a month.
“Fuck,” I mutter and head up the stairs. I can’t think about anything anymore. I want to crawl into bed and cry myself into some semblance of sleep until morning. It’s not that late now; only past half nine. But I’m exhausted from the events that have brought me to my knees.
I take the stairs one by one, reaching the top after an eternity. Feeling an ache in my soul that comes by every once in a while, I cross over to the small room that I always thought would be a nursery. Crushing disappointment wells up, knowing that I don’t even have a part of them to comfort me. I blink, leaning against the white doorframe, and then I freeze.
Illegal birth control.
That’s what the Commander said, amongst other things.
I straighten up, a frown creasing my brow.
No.
No. He wouldn’t. They wouldn’t.
They wanted a child. They all said…
But then they would, if they knew it would never happen.
Gulping back the ever-present tears, I tear into my bedroom and yank open the door to the ensuite, chucking my shoes and the card onto the floor and kicking them haphazardly out of my way. Throwing open the over-the-sink cabinet door, I search with my eyes, trying to find something, anything that looks suspicious. Ihatethat I’m doubting them. I hate that the Commander of the team who arrested my mates has given me these doubts. It’s not true.
It’s not.
But.
The thought is there, and now I have to discover the truth.
Slowly picking up my daily vitamins, the ones I get every month with added Folic Acid, just in case, my hand shakes. No, I don’t buy them. Adam does. Every month before I run out, he has a new bottle ready in the cabinet for me.
“No, no, no. Don’t doubt them, Morgan. Don’t do this.”
But it’s too late.
I rip the lid off and upend a few into the palm of my hand. Small white circles pop out, looking inconspicuous. I’m none the wiser. There is only one way I will know, and that’s to put my shoes back on, head back out to the late-night chemist and buy a fresh bottle to know for sure.
Without hesitation, I turn, clutching the bottle while I pour the tablets back inside. Replacing the lid, I slip my feet into the flip-flops that were poking out from under the dressing table. Bending to retrieve the card, I grab a coat and run down the stairs. Scooping up the key, I fling the front door open and slam it shut behind me as I head out into the ice-cold night.
It's about a three-minute, trepidatious walk to the chemist. I know it’s the one Adam goes to because he told me. How could I be so fucking stupid not to notice?
I shake my head, not willing to tar him yet. I need to see with my own eyes first.
But it would make so much sense why I never got pregnant, heat after heat and nothing.
Biting the inside of my lip, I see the lights glaring through the big window at the front of the chemist. The neon sign telling me it’s open gives me a headache.
The bell rings when I open the door, but no one looks up as I enter. I quickly find the aisle I’m looking for and search for the bottle of vitamins. Finding it, I grab it, hearing the tablets clunk inside. My heart sinks. I can already tell they are larger than the ones in my bottle. I hold them side by side, the dark green plastic making it difficult to see inside, but the labels are the same.
With trembling hands, I pay for the vitamins with the card Jeremy gave me, using the contactless function. I understand now the weird text he sent me a few nights ago. All it contained was four numbers. Nothing else. I thought he messaged the wrong person, so I just left it, but now I know it was the PIN number to this card.
Fuck.
It’s been planned and executed, and I’ve been left packless and alone.
How? How did this happen?
Letting my anger at the situation force my feet to move back in the direction of the house; it’s not a home anymore. I unlock the door and head straight to the kitchen once I’m inside and all safely locked up.
