Page 47 of His Good Girl
Okay, no immediate denial, which would’ve smacked of guilt. “He said that I was just a conquest for you. That you were looking into my life to find things to worm your way in, use me, and discard me. His exact words, so I didn’t misconstrue any of it.” I accuse him of this charge before he’s even taken a breath.
“Ouch,” he murmurs. “That is not what I’m doing.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’ve fallen hard for you, Serena, and that never happens to me. I’m apathetic toward people. I fuck to give myself a release, but there is nothing in it. No emotions, no need for intimacy. But with you…fuck, when I slid my cock into you, I know all of that changed. You are in my soul, Serena, and there is nothing that will loosen that hold on me. You are forbidden, but I can’t stay away.”
“Forbidden?” I croak, my heart leaping and skipping beats at the rest of his words.
“Your uncle hasn’t taken too kindly to my interest in you. It’s why he tried to warn you off and why he tried to convince me to let you go.”
“What did he say?”
“He didn’t use words.”
Eyes wide, I gulp. “What does that mean?” I whisper.
“Don’t worry about it, angel. Just tell me one thing. Are you okay?”
“I’m all right.”
“That doesn’t sound convincing.”
“There’s a lot going on. I was fragile before all of this. My past…it’s resurfaced, and I’m not dealing with it very well. After being talked to by Quen yesterday, things…got too much. I’m not strong enough, I guess. I’m sorry, I’m a disappointment.” I bring my knees up so I can rest my forehead on them, tears welling in my eyes.
“Please stop saying things like that. You are not and have never been a disappointment. There is nothing you could do or say that would make me think that, and believe me, that is a revelation tome.”
“This is too much, Logan. I’m not ready for anything.”
“Then I’ll wait.”
“Don’t. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or the day after that, or next month. I’m jobless and have to go back to being a temp after I’d gotten used to the idea of settling down somewhere. Everything has been ripped away from me.”
“Quentin doesn’t dictate to you or me.”
“There was something about the way he said it. Heforbademe from contacting you or seeing you. I mean, who does that unless they have the means to back it up?” I’m saying too much, but my runaway mouth won’t close. I know something deeper, darker, and fucking scary is going on with my uncle. He showed me a side to him that I have never seen before, and now that I have time to think about it, now that I'm being forced to think about it because of what he did and said, I realize that I look a little bit too much like him and not enough like my parents. What does that mean? Fuck knows. I don’t know anything anymore, except that he scared me, and I don’t want to go against him for fear of what he might do. If Logan says Quen hurt him over this, I can’t put him in that position again.
“I should go.”
“Serena, wait, there are things…dammit. I know what you’re looking for, Serena. I am the man you’re looking for. The savior, the hero of your story. That’s me.”
My heart aches, but I can’t do this. “Bye, Logan.”
I hang up before he can try to convince me not to be afraid. I want to be afraid because it gives me an excuse not to pursue something that is terrifying in its intensity. Logan Carter knows how to use his words. It’s what he does for a living. His ability to convince me to crawl over broken glass for him is what scares me the most.
Scratch that.
What scares me the most is that I would do it, no questions asked.
Chapter27
Logan
The urge to call her back is clawing at my bashed-in body, but I don’t. It will achieve nothing except to possibly push her further away. She says she isn’t ready, and while I feel like I’ve waited my whole jaded life for her, hers is just beginning. I have no business pressuring her or even being a part of it.
Corruption is inevitable.
I don’t know how to be any other way than what I am.
