Page 53 of Save Me
Aaron reaches under his desk and pulls out a handgun. He raises it and fires, the shot landing right between Clifton’s eyes.
Fuck.
But I’m not in shock. All I can think about is what a great shot my dad is. I cringe at the horror of the complacency of my attitude as Clifton slumps in Adam’s fist.
Adam drops Clifton’s lifeless body like yesterday’s garbage. The message is clear: disloyalty is a death sentence.
I glance at the remaining men. Some are pale, others have a grim set to their jaws. They know better than to show fear, at least not openly. Fear is a weakness—sharks can smell it a mile away.
Dad places the gun back under his desk with the same nonchalance as someone stashing away a pen after signing a check. “Clean this up,” he commands, his gaze never leaving the corpse.
Adam nods and gestures to two men by the door who reluctantly step forward to take care of the dead body. The message sent today isn’t just for those within these walls, it’s for everyone who thought they could fuck with Aaron McGowan and live to tell the tale.
“We’re done here,” Dad announces. “Remember, your loyalty or your life.”
As the room empties out, and I’m left standing there with him, I feel a strange mix of pride and disgust. Pride because I stood there like a soldier in battle who didn’t flinch at the sight of blood, and disgust because I’m starting to understand these monsters around me, and act like them.
“You did good, Vogue,” Aaron murmurs, his eyes finally meeting mine.
“Thanks,” I say, but there’s no warmth in my voice.
The smell of blood and death lingers, but I push it to the back of my mind. There’s no place for weakness in this world, and if I’m going to survive—thrive even—I need to be as hard as the rest of them.
20
VOGUE
“Will there ever bea time when there isn’t a dead man with his head blown off on the floor when I’m in here?”
Dad chuckles, and Adam even lets out something akin to a snort of amusement.
“I’m so proud of you, Vogue. Most would run, cry, hide. You’re doing none of those things. My blood is strong in your veins.”
I wipe my palms on the fabric of my skirt. It’s not that they’re sweating; I can’t do nervous. Not here. Not now. But there’s something about fresh blood that makes me want to scrub away the invisible taint.
Feeling Leonard’s all over my skin again makes me want to run, cry and hide. Watching someone else do it is easier to disassociate, and I’m really good at that.
I’ve stepped over the thin line that separates life from whatever lies beyond. Dad rises, crosses over to a cupboard along the side of the office, and pours himself a drink. “You’ll need to get used to this,” he says without turning around.
“I am used to it,” I lie smoothly.
He turns now, scrutinising me with those sharp eyes that miss fuck all. “Really?” There’s a challenge in his voice.
“Yeah, really,” I snap back.
Dad nods slowly before offering me a glass, which I take and down in one go. The burn feels good, like a cleansing fire. My head swims, but I push it aside. I push everything aside. This is what I signed up for—all of it.
“Next time, you will do it.”
I knew it was coming. I fucking knew it.
“Not a problem. Although, I would suggest Adam move away as I have never fired a gun in my life, so my aim will very definitely be off the mark.”
Dad smiles. It was a test. I know it. He knows it. Adam knows it. All three of us know I passed it as well.
“Is that you asking for training on how to use a gun? Or that you would rather get blood on your hands?”
“Whichever. This is your show. Remember?”
