Page 89 of Stalked By the Alphas
The enormity of our violation crashes over me. We didn’t just take advantage of Hazel during her heat. We stole something precious from her, something she can never get back. Her first real sexual experience, tainted by our selfishness and manipulation.
Noah runs a hand over his face, looking devastated. “We fucked up. We fucked up so badly.”
“That’s an understatement,” Carter growls, slamming his fist against the steering wheel repeatedly until he misses and blasts out the horn, which ricochets through my skull, making me feel disorientated and disconnected from reality.
I lean forward, burying my face in my hands, rocking back and forth. The urge to hurt myself, to punish myself for what we’ve done, is overwhelming. “How could we have been so blind? So selfish?”
“We thought we were protecting her,” Noah says weakly. “We told ourselves we were doing what was best for her.”
“And look where that got us,” Carter snaps. “We’ve lost her. She won’t ever forgive us, and she is right not to.”
His words hang heavy in the air. The finality of it all threatens to crush me.
“What do we do now?” I moan.
“We do what we promised,” Carter says firmly, though his voice is thick with emotion. “We leave her alone.”
“But—” I start to protest.
“No buts,” Noah interjects. “We’ve done enough damage.”
I slump back in my seat, feeling utterly defeated. They’re right, of course. We have no right to push ourselves back into Hazel’s life after what we’ve done. But the thought of never seeing her again, never having the chance to make things right, is unbearable.
“So that’s it?” I ask bitterly. “We just walk away?”
Carter sighs heavily. “For now, yes. We give her the space we said we would. If she ever decides she wants to talk to us again, it has to be on her terms.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then we live with the consequences of our actions,” Noah says softly. “It’s the least we deserve.”
Silence falls over the car as we all grapple with the reality of our situation. The weight of our mistakes, the enormity of what we’ve lost, settles over us like a suffocating blanket.
I can’t just do nothing. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. I need to see her, to tell her how sorry I am, to make amends somehow.
I open the car door, but Noah’s hand shoots out to grip my arm. “Where are you going?”
“I need some air,” I lie. “I can’t breathe.”
“We’ll come with you.”
“No!” I say, yanking my arm back. “I need to be alone. I won’t do anything stupid.”
“Zach,” Carter’s voice is gentle, probably more gentle than I have ever heard him.
“I promise, okay, I just need to be alone. I’ve got my phone. I’ll check-in.”
“If you don’t, we will come for you, and if you force me to go back and get Hazel to talk you down again, I will kick your arse so hard, you will end up in the middle of next year. Are we clear?” Carter growls.
The snort of amusement takes me by surprise as much as it does him. “Yes, sir.” I mock salute him and he narrows his eyes at me, but they let me go.
As soon as I’m out of sight of the car, I start running. I don’t have a clear plan, just an overwhelming need to see Hazel, to try and make things right somehow. I know it’s selfish, that I’m breaking my promise to leave her alone, but I can’t help myself. The thought of never seeing her again, never having the chance to explain or apologise properly, is gut-wrenching.
I slow to a jog as I near the village, my heart pounding from exertion and anxiety. What am I going to say to her? Will she even listen? Or will she just slam the door in my face?
Catching my breath as I walk down the high street towards the bookshop, I try to gather my thoughts. What am I even doing here? This is a terrible idea. I should turn around and go back to Carter and Noah. But I keep moving forward, drawn to Hazel like a magnet.
As I approach the bookshop, I see movement through the window. Hazel is there, arranging books on a shelf. My heart clenches at the sight of her. She looks tired, her movements slow and deliberate.
