Page 57 of Dark Fae's Desires
Pushing open the door to the library, I close it quietly behind me. Time to try this again, this time hopefully, without interruptions from the Dragon god and his staff.
I snort as evenIcan hear how sexual that sounds. I really have to stop that. He is a sexy forbidden fruit. Look but don’t touch. Devour with my eyes, but not my mouth.
My breath quickens and I shove my hair away from my face. With grim determination, I head for the stacks and look up at them. Looking under ‘G’ last time was naïve and a bit silly. ‘S’ was a better bet, but I didn’t really get a chance to look properly. However, I feel that looking in a different section will be more productive.
Turning, I go to the small shelf that holds about five books under the plaque with the words ‘Fae Mythology’ written on it. I run my fingers over the spines of the tomes and pull out the first one. This section is so small because there are Fae here so old, that they can recount most of Fae history. Also, there isn’t a lot of myth surrounding the Dark Faewithinthe Dark Fae Kingdom. I’m sure that other species have shelves and shelves of mythological books on us, perhaps even the Light Fae do. I know that our section of Light Fae mythology is larger than our own.
I pull up a comfy chair and sit down, crossing the leg with my wand attached over my other one and I settle back to start reading.
Sometime later, I look up as the door opens and smile as Mom pops her head in.
“There you are,” she says, coming in and looking around.
I can see her eyes sparkle slightly at the sight of so many books, but she draws her attention away from them and focuses on me as she comes closer. Her baby bump looks slightly more pronounced today, but that could be because she has on a stretchy black dress that skims her slight frame like a glove. I linger on her belly for a moment, feeling a slight pang that catches me by surprise.
She sees me looking and runs her hands over the bump. “How are you?” she asks.
I look up at her and smile. “I’m fine, thanks. You?”
She purses her lips. “I’m not the subject of this conversation,” she says. “How areyoudoing?”
“Oh,” I say with a sigh. This wasn’t about pleasantries. She wants to have ‘a talk’. I slump back and decide to just go with it. “I’m okay. Yes, it has been a harrowing few weeks with the battle, being imprisoned, escaping, killing Anders, finding out about Ambrosia, rushing my own pregnancy timeline forward… but, you know, I am actually doing okay.”
“Are you burying it all or have you spoken to your men about this?”
“Both, I suppose. I will deal with it in my own time.”
She frowns. “That is never a good idea, love,” she says, perching on the nearby table and folding her arms over the top of her bump. “Trust me. Talking through everything with someone, anyone, one of your birds even, will help you process it and allow you to move on from it.”
The ravens. What a fantastic idea. I suppose I’d have to make sure that Rook wasn’t lurking around though. I’m not ready to reveal all of my innermost demons to the men, even though I know they’d understand that I don’t really feel anyguilt over killing Anders. I’ve been burying that because I think it makes me look like a monster. The rest… well, it happened, but it could have been a lot worse. Then, there’s the secrets that I’m holding onto.
“I’ll do that,” I say, mostly to appease her, but having a small notion that it will probably do me good to say it all out loud.
She gives me a soft smile and stands up. It hits me suddenly that I don’t need her to stay here.
“You can go, you know, back to your life. I’m good. Really good. I’m going to be Queen here one day soon…”
And possibly a goddess.
“…and I have four men…”
Five
“…to look after me and make sure I’m safe and loved. I’m good.” I try not to grimace at my wayward thoughts.
She leans down to stroke my face. “I know you are, sweetheart. You have your shit together and while I’m so happy that you’ve found your place in this World, I’m sad that you don’t need me anymore.”
I grip her cool fingers tightly. “I love you, Mom, but you have your own life to get back to. Your new baby is coming soon, the twins and your husbands…Dad,” I add pointedly.
She sighs. “Before any of that I have to go back to Delinda. She’s just had her baby and I love your sister as fiercely as I do you, but she… she still needs me. Your father will be here until then.”
Getting that, I nod. Delinda has always been the one that demanded our mother’s attention whenever she was around. I know it’s because she thinks our mother abandoned her to the Dragon Realms, but she forgets that it was her choice to go. She could’ve stayed.
“See to her this one last time and then go and live yourlife,” I say, offering up my sage advice. “My advice to you. For what it’s worth.” I shrug.
She grins. “When did this conversation become about me?”
I giggle as she found me out. Nicely diverted, but I think I made my point, nonetheless.
