Page 15 of Icebreaker
He’d say I was his good boy for making him cum and that he loved feeding me. Then he’d stand me up, turn on the showerhead, and step in with me. We’d rinse off, he’d wash me, and I’d return the favor.
After we stepped out of the water, Daddy B would give me a quick swipe with the towel and then lead me to our bedroom down the hall. Once there, he’d finish drying me and help me dress. Naturally, he’d put me in my cute, fluffy nappies and footie pajamas with snaps. While he dressed me, Daddy B would remind me how much he liked taking care of his boy and remind me that I was his.
Once done, Daddy B would help me take my babies out to the living room and set them up. He’d put on a movie and we’d settle down to watch. I’d probably sit on a pillow on the floor while coloring at the table, and he’d play with my hair when I rested my head against him. Daddy B always made sure I had my pacifier. If it was my turn to choose the movie, he’d pull out his computer and watch game footage. With my paci in my mouth, I’d watch and bask in being loved.
Sigh. Unfortunately, none of my imaginary scenarios actually came to life. Instead, I drained the tub and took a quick shower. Once done, I took myself to my unshared bedroom to get dressed. It didn’t hit the same when I had to put the nappy on by myself and snap my pajamas. I pulled out my plastic tote from under my bed, grabbed my pacifier, and then gathered all my babies to bring them into the living room.
“Peasebottom, you in charge of the toys?” Peasebottom was hard to hear, but I was sure he said yes. Dian, the gorilla, wanted to argue a little, but Curie convinced her it was okay to let Peasebottom be the boss for one night. While they sorted it out, I went back to the tote and got my coloring books and crayons. I swallowed down my sadness that tonight’s coloring pages wouldn’t find their way to a place of pride on the fridge.
It was still chilly this early in the spring, so I grabbed the blanket Brennen always used, which smelled like him. It was too easy to indulge in the silly notion that Daddy B would like me to use his blanket because I missed him. The struggle was real to keep my droopy eyes open. With my pacifier firmly in my mouth and Peasebottom firmly clutched to my chest, I lay on the couch to finish my movie.
It was so quiet that the ping on my phone startled me. The only person who regularly texted me was my dad, and it was way too late for him. I’d never been good at making friends. Hope bloomed in my chest that it was Brennen.
Please. Please. Please.
Brennen
You up?
Ellie
Sorta, watching a movie.
Brennen
Anything good?
Ellie
Pete’s Dragon.
Brennen
The old or the new one?
Ellie
Old one is way better.
Brennen
Agreed. I got distracted with the movie—what do you mean sorta?
Ellie
I was lying down. It was a long day.
Brennen
You feel okay?
Ellie
I’m okay, just tired. The equipment room got sanitized, and I need more muscles. It wore me out more than I thought it would.
Brennen
Gonna need to agree to disagree.
