Page 4 of Icebreaker
“Nah, I pull yours out first.” He handed me some of my mail from the pile he’d gathered. “Except for this one.” A quick glance at the return address showed it was from the sheriff’s office that I hoped to work at after I graduated from college this year.
“Goddamn it, Dean. This could be important.”
“It’s probably not. They’d email you the important stuff.”
The sharp honk outside was the sound of the Uber he’d called to take him to the airport. I’d expected one of his parents to drop him off, but maybe they weren’t as clueless about his bullshit shenanigans as he thought. Not my problem because I was about to spend the rest of my senior year without a roommate.
CHAPTER TWO
ELLIE
Shut up.Shut up. Shut up.
If my life included only one loud person, I could handle it. But how the college’s housing office managed to find the loudest people on campus and put them all in the same dorm should be studied.
All I wanted was a few hours of studying and some sleep. It was hard enough for me to force myself out of bed at seven a.m. for my first class at eight. It would help if I didn’t sneak in a few chapters before I went to sleep. My preference was to have a set bedtime and wake-up time, but I was terrible at putting myself to bed. And when my schedule was a mess, so were my grades. I wasn’t in danger of flunking, but I was eking by with the bare minimum in my degree program.
My roommate wasn’t a bad guy. He wasn’t mean or homophobic. He just liked to have a good time and was inconsiderate. I wasn’t judging him for it because I had no game. But when your roommate brings a new girl home every single night to your shared room, it gets tiresome. I tried to go to bed early, so I’d hopefully sleep through their activities, but that created its own set of problems.
Sometimes I’d wake up and be unable to go back to sleep with the moaning and the porn-star noises. And when they were still here in the morning, there was always the awkward conversation:
“Hello, how are you? Did you sleep well?”
“No, I didn’t sleep well because I kept having dreams that a banshee was being murdered in my dorm room.I wonder why that was?”
They’d be embarrassed by the morning walk of shame, and it was awful. My roommate got annoyed when I talked to them, but they were right there, asking me about my sleep. Was I supposed to lie at seven a.m.? I wasn’t awake enough to come up with a good tall tale. My goal wasn’t for anyone to feel bad. It was to answer their questions. Unfortunately, tonight was a classic example of the second problem.
“Dude, I need you to disappear for a while.” Disappear for a while was code for finding somewhere else to sleep tonight. I had a test tomorrow in my Love and Literature class, and I hadn’t been able to study because the two guys in the room next to ours were practicing the drums and bass. They didn’t actually know how to play, but they tried hard. And they were making progress, so good for them on that score. Now, Landon was trying to kick me out altogether.
“I mean, I have a test tomorrow. I really need to get some studying done and a decent night’s sleep.”
“You can’t sleep in here or study because of the guys next door.” Landon jerked his head in the direction of the GarageCumDormBand. He wasn’t wrong, but it still irritated me. Their name also annoyed me. All of this bugged me. “You should go somewhere that you can get some studying done. Isn’t the library still open? You like the library.”
“No, I love the library, but the only part currently open has all the lights on with nowhere to actually sleep or have any privacy. The quiet area is closed so people don’t sleep in there at night.”
My roommate stared at me like I had grown three heads. I rarely pushed back, but I was tired and hungry. I was worried about him coming back, so I’d skipped dinner to study because it was too noisy in the cafeteria to even think about doing it there. A hungry Ellis was a hangry Ellis. Our stare-down continued until I finally broke.
“Fine. But you’ve got to promise that tomorrow I can sleep in my bed. I know you don’t have to study, but I do.” Sadly, Landon never struggled with his grades. He went to class once a week and called it good. It was frustrating. And unfair.
“Yeah, I promise.” I stopped gathering my books to dump into my backpack and looked at him. Really, really looked. “I know I promised last time too, but I mean it this time.”
“You didn’t mean it last time?” Of course I knew he hadn’t meant it before, but I got a perverse sense of satisfaction in making him admit it. I resigned myself to silence, but Landon surprised me when he had the decency to look slightly repentant.
“No, I wanted to mean it last time, but I one hundred percent mean it this time.” That was the best I was gonna get, so I decided to be satisfied with that small acknowledgment. I continued gathering my items so I could find somewhere else to sleep tonight. “If you ever got laid or had friends, I’d totally clear out for you.”
The dig took the air out of my lungs. I’d never felt more lonely, defeated, or deflated.
“Are you okay? You’re not usually this grumpy.” Landon’s complete lack of recognition of his contribution to my mood floored me. What I wanted to do was unload on him about how selfish and inconsiderate his request was, but I kept quiet. Iwouldn’t change anything. “I’m sorry for doing this again.” An apology given while he opened our dorm door felt a few notches below sincere, and I knew he wasn’t sorry for the comment that had left me breathless.
Instead, I shook my head and answered, “I’m just worried about my test.” It wasn’t fine, and it was a big deal, but I had already expended all my energy standing up to him, and I didn’t have anything left to keep going. Confrontation exhausted me.
“So we’re cool?”
“Yeah, we’re cool.”
The common area was out. The library was out. Until I figured out a solution, I sat in the uncomfortable chairs in the common area and thought super hard. My concentration was broken when two guys walked by, loudly discussing whether our hockey team, the Lumberjacks, would win their next game against the Penguins.
Tomorrow was a late practice day, so the guys wouldn’t be in the training area until at least ten a.m. If I slept over there, I could reset the alarm and be gone before anybody arrived in the morning. It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it was better than staying here.
