Page 71 of Icebreaker
“Is it a picture? I really like those.”
“Promise, Daddy B?”
“Yes, I promise. I like them because when I put them on the fridge, I think about you.” Daddy B’s words set my face on fire and I was forced to bury it in the folds of his hoodie. “Let’s put on our movie so you can play. What do you want to watch?”
“Umm…Tinkerbell movies?”
“Good choice, kiddo.”
His praise left me beaming. Daddy never cared when I liked sparkly stuff. He pulled it up and settled on the couch while I sat on the floor between his legs, playing with my new toys. The pocket stuffies visited the forest and got to be super good friends and went on adventures together. Every once in a while, Daddy B would refill my sippy cup.
I once told Daddy B that I sometimes forgetted to go when I was playing, but I’d tried super-duper hard to remember because wetting wasa lot. Today, Daddy B told me I could be as little as I wanted. I didn’t want to get off the floor because the Woodsey family and my new friends were having fun, and they’d be sad if they had to stop. My insides were getting extra full, but I kept drinking my water. It felt so good when the fullness built and pushed on my insides. The yucky part was that my attention couldn’t stay on my movie. Daddy noticed me squirm.
“What’s the matter, baby boy?”
“Ummm, I gotta potty.”
“You have on a nappy, right?” I nodded. “Then go,” he said easily with a shrug.
“But…but…”
“But nothing. That’s why you have them on. Just go, baby boy. It’s fine.”
I still sat between his knees on the floor and returned to my toys. Daddy B played with my hair and twirled it around his fingers. His soft touch distracted me from my big worries about using my nappy. And when the pressure became too much, I relaxed and let nature take its course.
The big part of me knew that a willingness to use a nappy was about trust, comfort, and caretaking. It was a signal that I knew my Daddy would be able to handle all my needs because he wanted to. It was why I loved him. The little part of me liked that I could be that carefree and my Daddy would handle it because that’s what Daddies did. And mine was the bestest in the universe.
“Daddy B?” I twisted to turn and look up at him. His kind, indulgent smile never wavered when I added, “Help me change, peas?”
“Of course, I will.” He lifted his long leg over my head to stand up, hauled me up with both hands, and led me to the bedroom. “Hold on a sec, let me get a towel and supplies.” Then, like it was nothing, he disappeared and reappeared in a flash with all he needed to change me. “Here, kiddo, get up on the towel and I’ll get you cleaned up.”
After he laid out the towel, I settled over the top of it and turned myself over to the moment. Daddy B pulled down my pants, wiped me clean, added the baby powder, and put on a new nappy. His touch wasn’t sexual, and my dangly bits stayed soft, but it was comforting and wonderful. He was matter-of-fact, tossed the used nappy in a disposal bag, and went to wash his hands before helping me get redressed.
“You want a snack?” he asked on our way back to the living room.
“No, ’tank you. New movie, peas.” He kissed me and patted my padded bottom. It felt so natural.
“You got it, kiddo.”
Daddy B grabbed the remote and switched to the next one in the series. Once it was going, he stretched out on the sofa, taking up every available inch of it. He was so tall and broad that there was no place for me to sit, but he lazily reached out his hand and pulled me down on top of him.
And that’s how we spent the next movie. At some point, he plucked my pacifier off the table and nudged it between my lips. He tucked one hand behind his head and the other moved from my puffy bottom to my back. I watched some and napped a little and had the best day ever.
This was the kind of life I wanted.
Ellie
Hi
I got your numbers from B, who got them from Matty.
Rafe
Hey, hi. I’m happy you did.
Benji
Me too.
