Page 73 of Icebreaker
“Too late. It’s already been decided.” We lapsed into silence while listening to Ellie and the guys ooh and aah over their found rocks and twigs. Ellie and Benji didn’t surprise me much, and I suspected that’s why he reminded Matty of his brother. But Rafe? That was a complete surprise. Gone was the cool, confident captain of the hockey team, only to be replaced by a guy who loved Disney movies and happily joined a rock hunt in the woods. But he was equally as confident and cool.
“Did you know Rafe was into cartoons?”
Matty looked cagey before he answered. “I recognized his tattoo.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“Look, Rafe likes whatever he likes, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”
“Who the fuck said there was anything wrong with it?” My first instinct was to get shitty with Matty because that was my default with him, but then I took a step back and realized he was trying to protect Rafe. He had no idea about the dynamic between Ellie and me. As far as he knew, it might’ve been a problem if there was something more to it.
Maybe there wasn’t anything to it. Maybe it was just due to cartoons or whatever, but given how defensive Matty was about it, I kind of wondered if he knew something. Plus, there was that whole stuffed animal in his bag thing again—maybe innocent, but maybe not. Either way, Matty wasn’t breaking any confidences, and I appreciated that about him. I was going to be fucking pissed if this guy made me like him. Even if I wasn’t aMatty fan, for the first time, maybe ever, I had the urge to tell someone about the dynamic between Ellie and me. But there was no way in hell I could share that without his permission, so I kept my mouth shut and just went back to the walk.
Our abbreviated heart-to-heart was done, and we caught up to the rest of the group. Our egos took a hit when they hadn’t even noticed we’d been gone. Dad was giving a nature lecture about the local flora and fauna, which the peas soaked up like little sponges. It might have been the cutest damn thing I’d ever seen.
Watching Ellie interact with them brought me full circle to the issue of how to handle my impending move. Ellie had made a connection with me, but he hadn’t with anyone else…and now two guys were chattering with him like they’d been friends for years. Plus, I knew my parents would happily take him under their wing.
The last part was all that mattered because I knew the people I loved would feel the same about the man I loved.
“Hey, Mom, you need anything?”
After our return, we all hung out in the yard, relaxing and waiting to get inspired to start grilling. It was a sunny day, but the mountains hadn’t warmed up too much, so it was perfect weather for hanging out in the yard, surrounded by the Ponderosa pines that covered the property.
“Would you mind grabbing me more wine?”
With a nod, I pushed myself out of the lounger and headed to the house. Rafe, a self-proclaimed lover of stuffies, had asked to see Ellie’s babies, and he’d obliged, but they hadn’t returned.My guess was that they’d gotten sidetracked admiring toys. As I approached the house from the backyard, I heard voices around the corner, but when I got closer, I stopped in my tracks as the conversation sank in.
“Have you talked to him about it?” Benji asked. “Maybe you could convince him to wait.”
“Absolutely not. Being a deputy up here is B’s dream, and I want it for him. It’s not his fault I need a place to stay,” Ellie said staunchly. “But it makes me sad that I don’t fit in with his dream. And if he wanted more, he’d have said something by now, and I don’t want to guilt him into anything.”
“Are you sure about that?” Rafe asked. “You haven’t even talked to him.”
“Ellie needs to go on the housing list soon, and Brennen won’t be here, so it’s not like he and Ellie are going to live together.” Benji sounded pragmatic, which I appreciated, but maybe not now.
“I think you should talk to him,” Rafe suggested.
“When it’s over, it’s over.”
Oh, fuck that noise.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I hollered as I rounded the corner. “Who the fuck said we’re over?”
All three of them jumped when I started yelling. My legs covered the distance quickly, and Ellie had barely gotten to his feet when I stood eye to eye with him on the steps.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” Ellie sighed.
“You’re right because that’s some bullshit.” I knew I sounded belligerent, but all my fucks were gone. “We aren’t breaking up.”
“Well, no, of course not.” I was slightly mollified. Had I misunderstood? “Not yet, anyway.” And now I was back to being pissed.
“Or not fucking at all.” Ellie looked confused, which threw me off completely.
“Umm, Benji, maybe we should let them talk without an audience?” Rafe suggested. He clapped me on the shoulder as he brushed past me.
“Is that safe?” Benji asked while peering up at me from behind his tortoiseshell glasses. He eyed me up and down like I was on trial.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Rafe promised, then backtracked to fetch Benji and lead him away with a grip on his arm. “Tate won’t do shit to Cooper, no matter what happens.”
