Page 38 of Icebreaker
After a few more kisses for sustenance, Ellie returned to making his frame for his chart, and I returned to the schedule. He’d decided to lean into the peacock theme and created an elaborate, but messy, design with the glue and the glitter. As he worked, he grew more chatty and his speech pattern changed. He also moved his menagerie out of his bedroom and onto the living room floor to provide an audience for his art demonstration. Pride exploded in my chest that I’d helped him feel secure enough to regress to his little space.
“Daddy B, look! I did it.” Ellie triumphantly held up his frame. It looked like a glitter factory explosion. His puffed-up chest told me he’d worked hard on it.
“You sure did, baby boy. Lay it down on the table so it can dry some more, and let’s figure out your chores,” I answered. Ellie scrambled onto the couch and tucked his legs underneath him.
“I don’t know how to cook, Daddy B,” he said mournfully.
“Silly, I know you don’t. That’s my job. But you can make your bed and empty the dishwasher.
“I can clean the kitchen too,” Ellie added.
“Baby, if you’re cleaning the kitchen, then that’s gonna cut into your study and little time, and those are too important.”
“But, Daddy B, you can’t do all the work,” he said stubbornly.
“Baby boy, if Daddy B says that’s too big of a chore for you, then it’s not up for discussion. You can take a turn in the kitchen when I’m not home.”
“But this season’s almost over, you’re gonna be home a lot.” When he saw my answering grin, Ellis sighed. “Oh, now I get it. I just wanna help, Daddy B.”
I squeezed his fingers and replied, “I know you do, baby boy, and you do help a lot. Why don’t we add tidying the living room as part of your chores too? That would help me a lot.”
“Okay, that makes me feel better.”
“And I’d like to add tidying up your playroom to the list too.”
Ellie sat back and glanced around our compact apartment. “What playroom?”
“If you move into my bedroom, we could turn your bedroom into a playroom.” After my suggestion, I closed my mouth and let my words sink into his brain.
“Don’t decide right now. I want you to be big for that. I just wanted to throw it out there.”
“Okay, Daddy, I think ’bout it.”
“Thanks, baby boy, now it’s time to put all our work away and have some little time. We’ve been super productive.”
Ellie clapped his hands, grabbed Peasebottom, and clapped his hands too. “PB, we get to be little.” With Ellie’s help, Peasebottom did a dance that involved an impressive number of somersaults and flips. “You play with me, Daddy B?”
“I will, but first you need to change into your little clothes.” Ellie stilled, and his sweet mouth formed anO.“And thatmeans diapers. Sorry, I mean nappies too.”
“Uh, Daddy B, I forget in my nappies…” He started to speak and then fell silent.
“You forget what?” Ellie refused to look at me and concentrated intently on Peasebottom’s stitching.Oh. “Do youforget the bathroom when you’re wearing your nappies?” Ellie nodded but still wouldn’t look at me.
“I sorry.”
“Kiddo, I want every part of you. You never need to hide or feel bad about any part of yourself, big or little, with me. All right?” I raised his chin, forcing him to look at me. “Got it?”
“Got it, got it.” Ellie tried to give me a smile, but it was shaky with his trembling chin.
My fingers found their way into his tangled curls, and I held his head steady while I leaned in to kiss him fully and firmly. “I want every part of you, baby boy. Every single part.”
Without another word, I got off the couch and held out my hand to Ellie. He stood up, slipped his hand into mine, and led me into his bedroom.
“Daddy B, need help peas.” With permission given to be himself, the little part of Ellie shone through. I pulled out the plastic container that he’d secreted away under his bed and he plopped on the floor to dig through it. I sat next to him and refolded the clothes he dug through and discarded. “Ah-ha! I founded it.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“My mostest favoritest,” he answered with a sweet smile. In his hands were a pair of cotton overalls and a Sasquatch Lumberjack T-shirt.
