Page 17 of Soothed By Daddy
We left my house after I changed into a pair of overalls and sneakers so I could leave my grown-up thoughts behind. My shirt underneath had tiny dinosaurs on it, but they were so small you’d only notice if you stared at them. And that was a weird thing to do.
We walked to the wooded park at the end of the neighborhood, which was full of twisty, winding paths. Cyrus led us deep into the woods until we found a hidden break in the trees that led to an old, rickety playground.
“When I first moved up here, I had a dog that I’d bring over to run around.” Cyrus gave me a sheepish look. “I may have forgotten to mention it to my landlord.”
“Uh, sir, was that on your application?” Oh, crap. There was definitely no dog there now.
Cyrus saw my look of horror. “Wipe that thought right out of your head. I watched the dog temporarily for my ex’s mom, who took her back home when she got back from her cruise.” Cyrus had squeezed my hand in reassurance but didn’t let go afterward.
“I didn’t think you and your ex ended well.”
“We didn’t, but I had a soft spot for her dog. Gigi, the dog, hated the kennel, and she’d pout for days when she had to go.” Cyrus paused to help me over a muddy puddle, then added, “I didn’t mind him being mad if the dog was all right.”
“You’re a nice guy, aren’t you?”
“Nah, but I play one on TV.”
With that, Cyrus tugged me forward and made me climb one of the metal merry-go-rounds kids hardly ever got to play with anymore. I spun and spun under the sun until my giggles and gasps blended. He twirled me until I felt dizzy, and then I begged him to keep going. With a laugh, he kept spinning me until I closed my eyes and the wind rushed past me.
Best. Feeling. Ever.
When I was able to walk in a straight line again, we headed over to the swings. The seats were wide enough that I could comfortably pump my legs to get some good air. Cyrus stayed behind me and pushed my back now and then, shoutingencouragement to keep going. If there was anyone else in this pocket park, I didn’t notice them. With the ring of pines around the tiny playground, it felt like we had stumbled onto a fairyland.
“Need a break, Daddy!”Oh crap. My words hung in the air, suspended with invisible ties between us. Dread hit when my brain caught up with my mouth. When the shock wore off, I didn’t expect Cyrus to respond, and I was right. He remained silent. My slow sink into little space slammed into reverse so hard I gave myself emotional whiplash.
Cyrus stepped back and allowed my swinging to slow. He plopped on the swing next to me. We both twisted in the iron chains. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but my thoughts were consumed with the words I had blurted out and wished I could take back.
“Umm, yeah, about that. When I’m in a little headspace, things come out of my mouth that aren’t what I mean.”
“When I was in eighth grade, I called my math teacher Mom in front of the whole class.” Cyrus paused for dramatic effect. “It was the worst day of middle school, and that’s saying something.”
“Oh damn! That’s like those dreams where you go to school without your pants.”
“Yeah. And, yes, exactly like that.”
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything like that. It slipped out.” I held my breath, wondering if what I thought was a helpful friendship was now falling apart.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna freak out because you called me Daddy. If that’s where your mind wanders, it’sfine. I call you Georgie. So long as we’re on the same page with everything, it’s cool.”
“Which page is that?”
“The one that says friends who help each other out.”
Since we’d already gone this far, we might as well lay it all out. I hesitated, then blurted, “Friends who kiss?” His immediate quiet was awkward. Really, really awkward.
After I said it, I wished I could be swallowed whole into the forest, as if it were some portal to another world. And if I were lucky, that portal would fix whatever part of my brain made me embarrass myself around this man.
“Friends who kiss.” Cyrus smirked. “We haven’t really talked about that, huh?”
“Not so much.”
“I’ve already said I’m not down for dating, but friends with benefits is an option.”
“Sex doesn’t have to mean anything,” I said in what I hoped was an easy, breezy tone. “I’m good with whatever.” This time, I added a shrug because that definitely said casual. What I wouldn’t do was admit to him, or anyone else, that I’d never had a casual FWB situation. So maybe it was time to live a little.
In college, I think everyone but me had one. I knew I was an introvert, but right now, I wished I had someone to talk to about it. The only person I was remotely friendly with was my boss, and that seemed like a serious boundary issue.
I liked Cyrus. I liked sex. My experience wasn’t broad, but I’d had good times with guys I’d dated. Yay for dating apps because that was the only way I’d meet a guy.
