***
Liam did not wake every morning content. Nor did he go to bed every night satisfied. He blamed her for it, though he knew it was unfair.
Still, if she’d been less innocent, he would have taken what she’d once offered him. The physical need would have been met. And he assured himself this emotional pull would fade.
He refused to accept whatever fate had in store for him, for them, until he was completely in control of his own mind and body.
He stood facing the sea on a clear afternoon when the wind was warm and the air full of rioting spring. He’d come out to clear his head. His work wouldn’t quite gel. And though he claimed continually that it was no more than a diversion, an amusement, he took a great deal of pride in the stories he created.
Absently he fingered the small crystal of fluorite he’d slipped into his pocket. It should have calmed him,helped to steady his mind. Instead his mind was as restless as the sea he studied.
He could feel the impatience in the air, mostly his own. But he knew the sense of waiting was from others. Whatever destination he was meant to reach, the steps to it were his own. Those who waited asked when he would take them.
“When I’m damned ready,” he muttered. “My life remains mine. There’s always a choice. Even with responsibility, even with fate, there is a choice. Liam, son of Finn, will make his own.”
He wasn’t surprised to see the white gull soar overhead. Her wing caught the sunlight, tipped gracefully as she flew down. And her eyes glinted, gold as his own, when she perched on a rock.
“Blessed be, Mother.”
With only a bit more flourish than necessary, Arianna swirled from bird to woman. She smiled, opened her arms. “Blessed be, my love.”
He went to her, enfolded her, pressed his face into her hair. “I’ve missed you. Oh, you smell of home.”
“Where you, too, are missed.” She eased back, but framed his face in her hands. “You look tired. You aren’t sleeping well.”
Now his smile was rueful. “No, not well. Do you expect me to?”
“No.” And she laughed, kissed both his cheeks before turning to look out to sea. “This place you’ve chosen to spend some time is beautiful. You’ve always chosen well, Liam, and you will always have a choice.” She slanted a look up at him. “The woman is lovely, and pure of heart.”
“Did you send her to me?”
“The one day? Yes, or, I showed her the way.” Arianna shrugged and walked back to sit on the rock. “But did I send her here? No. There are powers beyond mine and yours that set events in order. You know that.” She crossed her legs, and the long white dress she wore whispered. “You find her attractive.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“She’s not the usual type you’re drawn to, at least to dally with.”
He set his teeth. “A grown man doesn’t care to have his mother discuss his sex life.”
“Oh.” She waved a hand dismissively and set her rings flashing. “Sex, when tempered with respect and affection, is healthy. I want my only child to be healthy, don’t I? You won’t dally with her because you worry it will involve more than sex, more than affection.”
“And what then?” Anger simmered in his voice. “Do I take her, engage her heart only to hurt her? ‘An it harm none.’ Does that apply only to magic?”
“No.” She spoke gently, held out a hand to him. “It should apply to life. Why assume you’ll harm her, Liam?”
“I’m bound to.”
“No more than any man hurts any woman when their hearts bump together. You would take the same risks with her.” She angled her head as she studied his face. “Do you think your father and I have loved over thirty years without a scratch or bruise?”
“She’s not like us.” He squeezed the hand he held, then released it. “If I take the steps, if I let us both feel more than we do now, I’d have to let her go or turn my back on my obligations. Obligations you know I came here to sort out.” Furious with himself, he turned back to the sea. “I haven’t even done that. I know my father wants me to take his place.”
“Well, not quite yet,” Arianna said with a laugh. “But yes, when the time is right, it’s hoped you’ll stand as head of the family, as Liam of Donovan, to guide.”
“It’s a power I can pass to another. That’s my right.”
“Aye, Liam.” Concerned now, she slid from the rock to go to him. “It’s your right to step aside, to let another wear the amulet. Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know.” Frustration rang in his voice. “I’m not my father. I don’t have his … way with others. His judgment. His patience or his compassion.”