Page 66 of Enchanted
“You weren’t meant to—I understand that, Belinda.”
“If I’d known Liam would be such a jackass, I—” She broke off, scowled. “I should have. I’ve known him all my life. A more stubborn, thickheaded, irritating man has yet to be born.” Then she sighed. “But he’s kindwith it, and most of his stubbornness comes from caring so much.”
“You don’t have to explain him to me. If he’d trusted me, believed in me, things might be different.” She took the last of her clothes from the closet, laid them on the bed. “If he’d loved me, everything would be different.”
“Are you so sure he doesn’t?”
“I’ve decided the only thing I can be sure of is myself. It was the hardest and most valuable thing I learned while I was away. Do you want this blouse? It never flattered me.”
“It’s more my color than yours.” Belinda wandered over, laid a hand on Rowan’s shoulder. “Did you speak with your parents?”
“Yes. Well, I tried.” Thoughtfully Rowan folded trousers, packed them. “On one level it went better than I ever expected. They were upset at first, and baffled, that I’m going away, that I’m giving up teaching. Naturally, they tried to point out the flaws, the consequences.”
“Naturally,” Belinda repeated, just dryly enough to make Rowan smile.
“They can’t help it. But we talked a long time. You know, I don’t think we’ve actually talked like that before. I explained why I was going, what I wanted to do and why—well, not all the why.”
“You didn’t ask your mother about what you are?”
“In the end, I couldn’t. I mentioned my grandmother, and legacies, and how being named after her had turned out to be so … appropriate. My mother waved it off. No,” Rowan corrected with a sigh, “closed it off. It’s as if she’d blocked it off—if she ever even really knew or suspected. What runs through my blood, and even through her own, simply doesn’t exist in her world.”
“So you left it at that?”
“Why should I push her on something that makes her uncomfortable or unhappy?” Rowan lifted her hands. “I’m content with it, so that’s enough. If I’d insisted on stripping away whatever barrier she’d put up, what purpose would it serve?”
“None. You did the right thing, for yourself and your mother.”
“What matters is, in the end, my parents understood as much as they’re able about the decisions I’ve made. Because in the end all they want is for me to be happy.”
“They love you.”
“Yes, maybe more than I ever gave them credit for.” And she smiled. “It helps some that Alan’s been seeing someone else—a math instructor. My mother finally broke down and told me she’s had them over for dinner and they’re charming together.”
“We’ll wish them well.”
“I wish them very well. He’s a nice man and deserves to be happy.”
“So do you.”
“Yes, you’re right.” Giving it one last look, Rowan closed the last suitcase. “I intend to be. I’m excited, Belinda, nervous but excited. Going to Ireland like this. One-way ticket.” She pressed a hand to her uneasy stomach. “Not knowing if I’ll stay or where I’ll go or what I’ll do. It’s thrilling.”
“You’ll go first to Castle Donovan in Clare? See Morgana’s and Sebastian’s and Ana’s parents?”
“Yes. I appreciate your contacting them, and their asking me to stay.”
“You’ll enjoy them, and they you.”
“I hope so. And I want to learn more.” Rowan stared into the middle distance. “I very much want to learn.”
“Then you will. Oh, I’ll miss you. Cousin.” With this, Belinda caught Rowan in a hard embrace. “I have to go, before I start blubbering. Call me,” she ordered, scooping up the blouse as she hurried out of the room. “Write, whistle in the wind, but keep in touch.”
“I will.” Rowan walked her to the door of the empty apartment, exchanged one last fierce hug. “Wish me luck.”
“That and more. Blessed be, Rowan.” Already sniffling, she dashed out.
Weepy herself, Rowan closed the door, turned and looked. There was nothing left here, she thought. Nothing left to do. She’d be moving on in the morning. Moving in a way she’d never imagined. She had family in Ireland, and roots. It was time to explore them, and in doing so, to explore herself.
What she’d already learned gave her the foundation to build more.
