Page 73 of All I Need (Hearts of the South)
“Yeah, we took pity on him.” Pantone levered to a standing position. “Your sister, who has snakes in her head, was going to dinner with Haley and was getting a piece of him in the parking lot when I left the hospital, and I don’t mean in a good way.”
“Come on.” Amy drew Savannah toward the bank of doors at the back of the room. “Let’s go look at the river.”
Outside, cool damp night air wrapped around them. A set of wooden steps meandered down the steep slope to the dock, where a quad of Adirondack chairs sat in a semicircle. The night breeze rippled through a deep-throated wind chime. Under and around the dock, the river murmured and whispered along its way. Savannah sank down on the edge of one chair and rested her mouth in both hands. She pulled in a couple of deep draughts of air scented with river and pine.
Amy relaxed into the chair next to her. “What’s wrong?”
Hands still covering her mouth, Savannah shook her head. Everything was too close to the surface, and if she spoke, she might break down and cry. Her sister sat with her in silence broken only by the music of wind and river. After a few moments, the emotional fracture seemed fairly under control, and she sucked in another deep breath. “Oh, Ames, I’ve screwed up so bad.”
“How?”
She rubbed her hands together, trying to piece together all the clues. “We’re sleeping together, and he’s such a good guy…and oh my God, his relationship with his dad…and he’s leasing this house next door and he wanted me to look at it with him. I cannot do this, and I can’t get out of it, either.”
“I’m not sure I see the problem.”
“I’m hurting him, Amy, and I don’t know how. I only know I am.”
“Of course you are.”
Her anxiety flared into anger. “What do you mean,of course I am? I am not deliberately trying to hurt him. I wouldn’t do that to anyone—”
“Calm down.” Amy’s tone forbade argument. “You told me once I was self-centered and a little blind to those around me. You’re in the same place at the moment, andthat’swhy you’re hurting him. Of course it’s not deliberate. That’s not you. Once you can really see beyond yourself and see him, it’ll fall into place.”
“I am not self-centered.”
Amy snorted, a decidedly unladylike sound of disgust. “You went into this whole relationship thinking only of what you were going to get out of it and you’re only really looking at what he needs now because it hurtsyourfeelings that it’s hurting him. I don’t know what else you’d call that.”
“God, I hate you.”
“I hate you more.” A whimsical smile tipped up the corners of Amy’s mouth.
“This is not funny, Amy.”
“No, it’s actually really sad.”
Savannah narrowed her eyes. “You see something I don’t.”
“I do, simply because I’m not as close to the situation as you are.”
“What am I missing? Tell me what to do.”
“I can’t.” Her sister gave a helpless shrug. “I mean, I could, but it wouldn’t help you. It’s like the difference between knowing what faith is and understanding what faith is. You’d slough it off or run. You’re going to have to figure this one out for yourself.”
Above them, headlights flashed across the house. Amy nodded up the hill. “We should get back.”
Back into the lions’ den with no more answers than she’d had when she’d walked out.
Mackey was entering the kitchen as they slipped inside. He accepted a beer from Clark and saluted Emmett with it. “Your sister is a damn piece of work.”
“You were with her a year, and you’re only now figuring that out? And you didn’t have anything to do with making her a damn piece of work, did you?” Emmett draped his arm around Savannah’s shoulders and pulled her into his side. He rubbed his palm up and down her upper arm, chafing warmth into her air-cooled skin. She wrapped her arm around his waist, needing the contact with him. The affectionate nearness almost felt normal.
“Cut him some slack, Em. And no bitching, Mackey.” Pantone moved to help Clark dish up steaming slices of lasagna. “You created that mess by getting involved with her when you were on the rebound. She made it worse by getting married in a rush on the rebound, but still.”
“Thanks, Nikki.” Mackey drained half the beer in one gulp. “Not like I needed anything to make my night worse.”
“Anytime.” She tossed him a cheeky grin over her shoulder, then paused, waving the spatula. “That’s why I have the no-rebound rule, you know. Think about how bad that would be, though—being with someone and you don’t know if they’re thinking of the other person while you’re together or wishing you were that person or whatever. Ugh.”
She ended the rant with an exaggerated shiver of revulsion. Next to Savannah, Emmett had gone absolutely rigid, and an awful certainty settled in her consciousness. The remainder of the evening passed in a miserable blur. Clark’s lasagna might be unbelievable, but if so, any deliciousness was lost on her. They spent some time after dinner on the deck around the firebowl with coffee and slices of cheesecake, but the light banter and laughter went over Savannah’s head. All of her thoughts remained focused on the man sitting beside her on the wooden swing, his arm about her shoulders.
