Page 96 of All I Need (Hearts of the South)
She loved him. After what he’d seen in her face the night before, Emmett was sure of it, and while he wanted to hold that knowledge close, hang on to how it warmed him, bask in the way she looked at him, at the same time, the knowledge scared him shitless.
He uploaded training modules and pushed them out via the online training program. She said she wouldn’t leave him, but that was now, when she thought… Hell, who knew what she thought? What if she figured out how she felt? Fuck, she’d be gone so fast…
The idea twisted his stomach and made him want to vomit.
He wanted it so damn bad,wantedher to love him with a visceral ache. And he never wanted her to see it, because while she could live with a little fear about his physical well-being, he didn’t think she could do the fear over her own emotional well-being.
Wonder if he could get her to do fifty more years of doing today? Maybe by then, she’d be over the need to self-protect.
He could live without the words.
He could.
Words didn’t matter a damn anyway. He knew that better than most. She only had to keep looking at him like she did and stay with him, and he’d have everything he needed.
Damn it, he had to expend some of this, somehow. He glanced at his watch. Technically, he could go to lunch, but the idea of eating, as keyed up as he was? Nope. Not happening. However, he could spend some time in the training room with the heavy bag and then shower and change.
In the training room, he stripped his polo and undershirt over his head, torso screaming, and dropped them on a bench. He toed out of his shoes and set them aside. He put his earbuds in, cranked up Imagine Dragons, and attacked the bag with a punishing rhythm that elevated his heartbeat and made his knuckles sting. Every punch sent agony through the bruised areas of his back, but he could handle a little hurt.
Sweat dripped down his face and chest.
He could do this. He really could.
God,please, let her not figure this out.
He could do physical hurt, he could do being second best, he could do never hearing her say what he meant.
He couldn’t do her leaving him. That would have him on his knees.
“Man, are you crazy?” Troy Lee pulled the earbuds from his ears and made a grab for the bag. “Are you supposed to be doing this?”
Chest heaving with exertion, Emmett shrugged. His back ached, but the burn in his arms made up for it. “Mackey said no road duty and no major physical activity. He didn’t say I couldn’t work out a little.”
“In the middle of the day? At work?” Troy Lee looked at him askance. “What is wrong with you?”
Emmett swiped sweat from his brow and shrugged again. The thoughts in his head were too scary, too private, to share.
Frowning, Troy Lee eyed him for a long moment. “Screwed up from yesterday?”
“No.” Emmett scowled.
“It’s normal if you are.”
“It’s not…” Maybe it was easier to let Troy Lee think the shooting incident was bothering him. No way Emmett could articulate this right now, but Troy Lee was unshakeable when he thought a friend needed help. Normally, Emmett appreciated the hell out of that trait, but not today. “I’ll be okay.”
After one more searching look, Troy Lee nodded. He rested his hands at his gun belt. “Listen, you know anything about that school-resource officer position Calvert posted yesterday?”
“Yeah.” Emmett leaned down for his water bottle and took a swig. Hell, he’d written the job description and posted it for Calvert before going out on duty with Walker. “It’s mostly with the middle and elementary schools, delivering drug education, being a positive mentor on campus, supervising the schools’ dad mentor programs. Why?”
Troy Lee glanced away. A muscle flicked in his jaw. “I think I’m going to put in for it.”
“You’re kidding.” Troy Lee, off the road and walking school hallways every day? “What the hell?”
“Yesterday… Angel is all shaken up by that. She’s my wife and the mother of my children, man. She’s pregnant and upset, and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make her feel secure.” Troy Lee blew out an audible breath. “If I come off the road, I come off the road.”
If it came down to riding a desk permanently to keep Savannah secure, Emmett would do the same thing. “I get that.”
One corner of Troy Lee’s mouth lifted in a ghost of his customary grin. “I figured you would.”
