Page 14 of Safe With Me
Funny
Caring
Good listener
My pen hovered over the paper.
The Hannah I knew wouldn’t do all the things Elizabeth accused her of, and the Elizabeth I thought I knew wasn’t the person Jase claimed she was.
The ugliness of her voice back at the store echoed in my ears, the way she’d tried to boss Hannah around, shift work onto her, and complained about her. The way she’d ignored every single fucking thing I said to push her own agenda.
Unease rippled down my spine like a moccasin dropping off the bank into the water.
I’d really, really fucking messed up.
I’d hurt Hannah.
She’d blocked me.
She said she was done.
The panic returned, shooting under my skin, deadly as a moccasin bite.
Please don’t let her be done with me.
Please.
Forcing myself to calm down, I ripped off a fresh sheet from the notepad and reworked the list as a note, leading with an apology and explaining that the plants were because I wanted her to have something she loved. I owned what I’d said, that she didn’t deserve anything I’d thrown at her, and then listed everything I loved about her. I blinked at the wordlove, then shrugged it off. Friends could be loved. I mean, I loved Jase like a brother.
Like a brother I’d lied to for years.
I winced and rubbed at the center of my chest. Yeah, I owed him a conversation, too.
Shit.
With a flat of our healthiest herbs and a bundle of cut flowers on my passenger seat, I pulled out of the farm drive fifteen minutes later, headed south toward Hannah. Couple of years back, she’d rented a little cottage tucked behind the new Walgreens. I knew where she’d lived – I’d just never been there. Trace, Andy and Jase had helped her move. I didn’t even remember why I hadn’t, and when we all hung out, we usually ended up at Trace and Sara’s so they didn’t have to get a babysitter. Still, I thought about her every time I rode out 37 and passed by.
Her SUV sat in the carport when I turned in the drive, and I parked behind it, cataloguing the house and yard as I jogged around to get the herbs and flowers. The beds in front of the home spilled over with plants and potted flowers marched upthe short flight of steps. An arched gate kept me from seeing into the backyard, but I bet she had it filled up as well.
My boots scraped on the stone pathway. Despite the chilly air, sweat crawled down my spine. Hell, I was freaking afraid walking up to her door.
Balancing the flat on one hand, I pressed the illuminated blue button of the camera doorbell and heard the tone go off somewhere in the house. I stared into the camera, wondering if she was looking at me, and waited.
Nothing.
Expelling a breath, I hit the button again and waited.
Nothing.
I closed my eyes and muttered afuckunder my breath. I laid a finger on the doorbell one last time, and this time I spoke, hoping she’d at least hear me. “Hey, Hannah, I get why you’re pissed at me. I’m pissed at me, too. Wanted you to know I was sorry and how much you mean to me.”
I held the flat up so she could see them. “These are for you. I’m going to leave them right here.”
If I’d been hoping she’d open the door, I hoped in vain. I scraped a hand over my nape and looked dead into the camera. “I’d like you to call me so I can do this in person.”
I sagged on a sigh. “But I get it if you don’t.”
Settling the flat on the Adirondack chair closest to the door, I turned and walked back to my truck. Damn it all, my eyes stung, and I blinked hard.
