Page 51 of Safe With Me
“That’s great.” Either my knuckles or the marble were about to break. “So we could go out one night then come back and–”
“I’m not going out.”
“Doesn’t have to be here. We can–”
“No.”
“Hannah.” I tried to straddle the line of pushing her, but notpushingher. Fuck, this was hard.
“Tate.” She smacked her fork on the counter, Caesar dressing splattering. “We don’t have to do this.”
I raised a brow. The blackmail was clear – if I got out of line, I got cut off. Since I was already on permanent probation with her due to my own stupidity, I’d created my own set of walls she could use to protect herself from me. I got it – she wanted to shield herself the same way I wanted to guard myself. I mean, I’d risk myself being with her, but I wasn’t going to love her.
“We don’t.” I kept my voice calm and shrugged, even though a hint of panic tugged at my lungs. “Thought you wanted to be with me.”
Uncertainty flashed over her face. “I do, but . . . I can’t put myself out there.”
“What if I said you were safe with me?” Oh, yeah. I was the stupidest man alive. Hadn’t I shown her how fucking safe she was with me that night at the Millhouse?
“I’m not safe anywhere.” She folded in on herself, shoulders hunching.
Fucking Elizabeth.
“I want to do what’s best for you, Hannah. Trying to find that spot where I’m encouraging, but not pushing.” I flexed my aching fingers. “I want to be your lover, not a crutch.”
She turned away from me, wiping up the dressing. “Trust me to know what I need.”
Frustration flushed through me. I wanted her well, healed from Elizabeth’s shit, but she was right.
Silence hovered as we finished up our tasks – I pulled the fish from the oven, she tossed the salad. She plated and passed one to me, holding on for a moment so we were connected by the china.
“I’m not using you as a crutch, Tate.” Her hazel gaze, shadowed and a little closed, lay steady on mine. “I want to be with you.”
“Okay.” My voice emerged from my tight throat like a rasp. She could tell herself whatever she wanted. I’d let her use me as long as she wanted to and deal with the fallout later.
As long as she wanted me, I wasn’t going anywhere.
Chapter Fourteen
Hannah
Sara simply would not let up. I glared at the text notification on my phone, her third attempt in two days to get me out of the house. How did she have time to harass me like this? Didn’t she have her hands full with second graders?
Let’s go to the Millhouse tonight
Eyes closed, I ignored the text. Tate had backed off, but Sara was hanging in. I knew hiding away at home wasn’t healthy, but the idea of being out, scores of eyes on me, made me want to throw up.
There were worse things than spending each night having blazing hot sex with Tate Edwards. Venturing out into Coney’s social scene was one of them.
“Thought you were going to decorate in here.” Scott dropped a stack of files in the basket at the corner of my desk.
“Oh.” I glanced around, a hint of heat in my cheeks. Had he really remembered that offer? That felt like a lifetime ago, like someone else had inhabited my body then. I shrugged. “You said you had a tree.”
“In the storage closet.” He flicked an RSVP card for his and Andrea’s holiday party in my direction. It landed face up on the desk calendar. The guest name line was blank. “Thought you were making wreaths or whatever.”
“No.” I shrugged again, refusing to shrink into my chair. “I haven’t had time.”
“Yeah?” He studied me, blue eyes sharp and assessing. “What have you been up to?”
