Page 52 of Safe With Me
Fucking Tate every night. My face flushed hot. “I’ve just been busy.”
One of his brows quirked upward, and he nodded.
He was such an asshole. A smart one, but an asshole. Why did I feel like he knew what I’d been up to? And what did it matter, anyway? We were grown adults.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” I held up the RSVP card.
“Fill it out for yourself and a plus one.”
“I’ll put up the tree for you after Thanksgiving.” I turned my attention back to the computer, hoping he’d leave. More and more, I simply wanted to be alone. After a moment, he walked away, and I sat, staring at his electronic calendar. I’d checked off everything he and Andrea needed done – after the first couple of weeks she’d adopted me as her PA, too – and now I was fiddling my fingers.
My eyes prickled. I missed the constant busyness and bustle of the store, but I didn’t see myself ever going back there. The Livi & Co setup hung like a chore around my neck now. In another few months, I’d let it go.
Honestly, I didn’t want to do anything except hide out – eat, shower, sleep.
And use Tate.
I shied from that little whisper in my mind. He was right about what we were doing not being healthy. I saw the emotions in his gaze, especially when he was inside me, and I ignored those feelings. And I never took him to my bed. We had filthy sex on the couch and the kitchen island, by the door – but never my bed.
All day tangled emotions built up inside me because I had too much time to think, then blew up into explosive gasping, clawing-his-back sex.
And it wasn’t even like dallying for sex’s sake with Tick Calvert or Park Bell. No, I wasusinghim, which made me feelsmall and left a bad aftertaste. I was using him like Elizabeth used me. He called what we were doing unhealthy, but the plain truth was what I was doing was wrong.
So. No more of that.
I didn’t want to be anything like her.
My phone pinged. Saraagain.
Come on, Han. Say yes to tonight
I groaned.Don’t you have second graders?
They’re at specials. We can go early for dinner before it’s crowded and you can go straight home
My lashes fell.Fine
I regretted the agreement as soon as I pressed send, then felt sick the rest of the day. Sometimes, I left work at four-thirty, but I let it tick past and made myself stay until five o’clock. If I went home, I wouldn’t come back out.
Maybe I should go home. Let Sara be angry.
Except as wound tight as I was now, I’d only end up on the couch with Tate again. Or the island or by the door.
My shoulders slumped. I needed to talk him and navigate giving up the sexual side of our . . . whatever we were now. That would be tricky because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, no matter how he’d stomped mine a few weeks back.
I didn’t want to hurt him because I cared for him.
“You’re still here.” Standing in the doorway to his office, Scott shrugged into his jacket. Andrea had cut out around four – she had a standing appointment to get her hair done.
“I’m killing time.” I glanced at the computer. Six minutes until five. “I’m meeting some friends at the Millhouse.”
That brow lifted all over again.
I scowled at him. “I hate when you do that.”
He shrugged, and I rolled my eyes. We both knew he didn’t care what I liked or hated about him.
“Haven’t seen you there lately.” He adjusted the sleeve of his jacket at his left wrist, his utilitarian watch with the battered leather strap peeking out for a moment.
