Page 67 of Safe With Me
She sputtered on a sip, then lifted startled eyes to mine. “I’m just . . . thinking.”
Yeah, that told me nothing.
With my free hand at the small of her back, I traced a little circle I hoped came across as soothing. At least she didn’t flinch.
We walked a few steps away from the food and drinks area, and I glanced around. This wasn’t our social group, although I knew a lot of people there. Chandler County just wasn’t that big for us not to know most everybody. Barlow was big buddies with Tick Calvert, all the way back to middle school at least, so seeing him standing at a table with a brunette I guessed was his wife wasn’t a surprise.
Now, seeing his cousin Colt with Holly Callahan at the same table? That was a big fucking surprise. One, there was that whole thing about Colt fucking Tick’s girlfriend while he was away at college. I’d never gotten that because Colt always seemed like a standup guy and the girlfriend had been a raring bitch, but alcohol made people do crazy stuff. Two, half the county had expected Tick and Holly to end up together, so seeing her with Colt? Yeah, that was . . . weird.
Tick leaned sideways, looking at David King’s phone while they talked, but he anchored a hand on his wife’s hip while she talked to Colt. Holly stared at the pair of them, mouth open in a stunned expression.
“They’re really together.” Surprised awe colored Hannah’s whisper.
“Yeah.” Not sure if she was talking about Tick and Colt or Colt and Holly, but still. It was weird as fuck. “Will wonders never cease.”
“That would be like me and Elizabeth–” She bit off the sentence and stared up at me, her face stricken. Tears flooded her eyes, and her mouth trembled.
Oh, fuck me. I hated when she cried.
I cupped her jaw and stepped closer. “Hey. Maybe one day, if she straightens up and you want to.”
“I just don’t understand,” she whispered. A tear glimmered on her lashes and slid down her cheek. Fuckme. I caught it with my thumb and brushed the moisture away. Shit, if only I could swipe the hurt away like that. I would, in a heartbeat.
“Yeah, me either.” Although now, I really did. Now, I could see Elizabeth for the self-centered, insecure person she was. The damaged person she was. The shit parenting they’d received had messed up all three of them, but my Hannah? She’d found her way all on her own. She was amazing, and fuck, I was in awe of her. “No, that’s not true.”
“What?” She blinked the tears away and sniffed.
“She’s not brave like you. She couldn’t put herself out there to try new things.” I rubbed my thumb over her soft skin once more. “Safer for her to steal your bravery.”
Her eyes widened, and she bit her lower lip. “You think I’m brave.”
With my thumb, I nudged her lip free of her teeth and lowered my head for a quick kiss. “I know you are.”
I was the coward here, loving her and refusing to admit it. Limiting us to protect myself. Bet I was hurting her as well as me.
Did that make me any better than Elizabeth?
“Hello.” Andrea Yates, Barlow’s girlfriend or whatever, swanned up to us with a big smile that I guess might have been real even though it looked plastic as hell. She seemed to like Hannah well enough, but the woman was hard to read. She bared more teeth at me. “I need to borrow her for a few minutes. Hannah, Sharice Richardson is here. She saw my wreath and wants to meet you.”
With an apologetic glance in my direction, Hannah let herself be drawn away.
I stayed put in our shadowy little spot, apart from the muted merrymaking around me. Feeling separated from others was my norm, ever since Mama and Daddy had both gone, but not with Hannah. With her, I felt whole and at home. I appreciated the hell out of that.
Coughing over a swallow of flat champagne, I let my gaze land on Tick. I still disliked him – old habits died hard – but he didn’t strike me as a threat any longer. Hannah barely gave him a first glance when she saw him, let alone a second. She’d been more interested in figuring out how he and Colt were interacting.
Plus, the guy was so gone on his wife it was funny. Even talking to his buddy, he was attuned to her, always touching her, and the stress of being at that table of Colt fell away from his stance when he looked at her.
He dropped his head to whisper at her ear, grinning as he shifted his hand from her hip to her lower belly. Okay, I kinda felt like a voyeur watching what was a private moment, but that interaction tugged at me, hard. That was like watching Daddy with Mama, sheer joy all over his face. That was a man devoted in love with the woman who meant everything.
Hannah made me feel like that. Realization slugged me in the gut, pushing the breath from my lungs. I was cheating us. We were cheating each other, out of all of that.
I’d called her brave, but hell, I was the one who needed to step up.
“Hey.” She wrapped herself around my side and tiptoed up to kiss my cheek. Warmth – that sense ofhome– flashed through me, and I stared at her. That sensation, that wanting? It was more than sex. More than affection.
“Hey.” I dropped a kiss on her hair. My mouth dry, I shot another glance at Tick and his wife. Hell, David and Lorraine King were the same way – he’d leaned sideways to kiss her neck, and she giggled, sequined dress sparkling with each movement. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. “Listen, I need to . . . I need to step up, Hannah.”
With a tiny frown, she stole my plastic flute and sipped. She lifted her gaze, amused but a little apprehensive, to my face. “What are you talking about?”
