Page 28 of Cold Foot Revenge
Roxy forced a smile. “Just another amazing night in the life.”
“Oh, come on girl,” she said easily as she applied thick eye liner. “That ain’t the attitude that’ll get you paid, and you know it.”
Roxy stared at her bare face in the mirror and felt empty. “You ever just want to pack up and leave?” she asked.
Lucky came marching in through the door, mumbling about ‘puckered assholes’ or some-such.
Kristy was staring at her. “You know you can’t leave. Grave won’t let you.”
“But do you ever think about it?” Roxy asked.
“No. Thinking things like that is dangerous. This is what we are, Rox. We are dancers, we please men, we are the fantasy. We make our money and pay our bills and don’t depend on anyone. We’re the ones the girls want to be like, and the ones boys want to be with. It ain’t so bad. Chin up.”
But Kristy was wrong. Girls didn’t want to be like her. Not really. Sure, Pamela wanted her to show her some dance moves, but at the end of the day, would Pamela trade her lives? Hell no. Not if she knew what it was like. What it felt like to be lusted after but never loved. Did the boys really want to be with her and Kristy? With Lucky? Roxy didn’t think so. They got lost in the fantasy of it, but if they went home with her, they would see her without the make-up, without the fake jewels and fishnet glamor. They would see her struggling to pay her bills and making Hamburger Helper with nearly expired beef because that’s all she could afford. They would see her leaky roof, and her tiny duplex, and wonder why the hell Roxy-on-stage was so different from Roxy-the-real-woman.
No one wanted this. Kristy was just telling herself that so she could paint a genuine smile on her lips and look like shewanted to be here, because that’s what the men liked to see. That’s what got her paid better.
“You don’t think Grave would let me go?” she asked.
Lucky scoffed and locked her arms against the back of Roxy’s chair. “Child, have you lost your mind? You’re the only one Grave watches. You’re his.”
“I am not,” she gritted out.
“Oh, you’re pissed about the animal, I get it. Grave might not admit it, but he gets it too. He’s letting you throw your little tantrum because he likes the chase. All you’re doing is making this fun for him.” Lucky pushed off her chair and rearranged her sagging tits into her hot pink fake-leather bra. “A man like him likes a hunt. He’ll never stop hunting you. He created you to match him. You can accept it and settle into the life he is building you, or you can have nights like this, pissin’ and moanin’ about wantin’ more. You can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.” Lucky arched her black painted eyebrow at Roxy in the mirror. “Accept it. You belong here. Always did.”
Roxy dropped her gaze to the make-up that littered the table in front of the mirrors so Lucky wouldn’t see the emotion in her expression.
Fuck, that hurt. She belonged here? Her? Roxy? She had always belonged here?
“Lucky is right,” Kristy said softly. “Best you accept it. The sooner the better. We’re a Crew.”
But she hadn’t chosen this Crew. Neither had Kristy, who had a panther inside of her that she hadn’t been okay with for the first entire year after the Grit-Bron Crew had Turned her.
“You don’t feel trapped here?” Roxy asked.
“I’m not trapped like you,” Kristy said.
Roxy frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I know you owe Grave money. Everybody does.”
Heat washed up her neck and landed in her cheeks. “Who told you that?” she demanded in a whisper.
“Everybody knows.” She shrugged. “Or maybe it’s pillow talk. Leech talks a lot.”
“Oh, hell. You and Leech?” Roxy whispered.
Kristy’s crimson red smile was proud. “Maybe.”
“Why?”
“Why not? He’s my Maker.”
“He and Grave are everyone’s Maker here,” she whispered.
“Yeah but he picked me special. He told me. He’s just been waiting for me to be okay with the animal and make sure he didn’t have to put me down.”
“Put you…Kristy, you’re fucking a guy who talks about maybe he was going to have to kill you because of the animal he put in you? And talking about it casually like that? Like it’s no big deal? It’s a big deal!”
