Page 60 of Twisted Bonds
"Drop the towel and kneel, pretty girl."
My heart skipped a beat, and I happily did as he commanded. I'm not ashamed to show him my nakedness; we've been intimate many times. Until Beau and I figure out what we are to each other, I will not feel guilty. We aren't doing nothing wrong.
"Last one, pretty girl," Bain informs me just before the last one kisses my back.
My shoulders slump in relaxation, and I bow my head. This is the part where I would thank Sir by giving myself to him, but I'm not sure what to do now that we are no longerthatcouple. When I feel a silkiness touch my shoulders, I see Bain placing a robe over me to cover up.
I take the hand he offers, and he helps me put the robe on, and then he ties it. His hands linger on the tie, and I feel them tighten around the belt as he stares at them. He's wound up. I can see how his jaw clenches, and the tiny little vein at his temple pulsates, telling me he's doing everything he can to hold back.
"I fucking miss you, Ryan. You have no idea…"
"I won't lie to you, Bain. You've always known that I would take him back in a heartbeat, but that doesn't mean I don't love you or miss you. We had something special, too, and I don't know how to handle this situation. The one thing I do know is that I need my sessions."
"I'll always be here to give you those if Beau can't do it." He stares at me as his hand cups my cheek. "Stay here tonight…"
Covering his hand, I close my eyes to savor his touch. "Bain, I can't. What about Chloe?"
"How about me?"
Bain and I whip around to find Beau standing in the doorway. I don't know how long he's been standing there, but he's leaning against it as if he's been there a while.
"Well, are you going to answer me, or were you planning on sneaking around behind my back?"
Sighing, I remove my hand from Bain's and step around him to go to Beau. Surprisingly, Bain reaches out and grabs my arm, halting me. I can't help but look back at Bain and then gasp as he says, "Don't go."
Thirty-Four
Bain
Heather's text telling me that Ryan was at the shelter and needed help had me flying out the door. Chloe and Cayley had already turned in for the night, and I’d been sitting in my office trying to get through the last monthly financials for Bellini Formal. I wasn't concentrating much, though. So many things were running through my head making it hard to concentrate on my work.
Chloe telling me that she didn't think it would work out with us anymore because of what she's been through, had hurt me in a way. She said she didn't think she could be a real wife to me, not how I needed her to be, but that she's willing to see how it goes later on; she needs time to adjust. I get that, but I can't wait and hope she will come around. I'm in my mid-forties and still have a lot of life in me, if you know what I mean. I won't move on with anyone, but I may start having to visit my club once again.
That brought me to my other dilemma, Ryan, and my son. I love Beau and will give my life for my son, but I'm finding it hard to let go of Ryan. I know I need to—for Beau's sake, if anything—but it will be tough. She's all I think about 24/7. Not knowing how she's doing is killing me, but I'm putting my faith in my son that he will keep her safe.
Beau loves her, but I don't think he can be who she needs him to be. Unfortunately, that isn't up to me to decide. Ryan has a good head on her shoulders, but I hope she doesn't let her feelings for Beau push aside herown needs, because I can see her doing just that. She will choose to suffer for those she loves.
When I received the call, I knew right away what was going on with her, and I'd be damned if I didn't go to her. Feeling her in my arms again was like coming home—Ryan is my home—she has been for the past year, even before we started our agreement.
I've needed a lot of fresh air lately due to feeling the walls closing in on me. Laney, Heather, and Liv have seen me in the state I'm in when I do. They know I miss Ryan and that it's really affecting me. I'm unsure if they know what we were doing before Beau and Chloe came back, but something tells me that they know something. Liv was coming out of her room as I was carrying Ryan out of the shelter, but she hadn't said anything; all she did was nod at me while a concerned look washed over her face.
I know bringing Ryan to the Manor may stir up some trouble if Chloe were to wake up and find her here. At this point, my estranged wife is the least of my concerns, not when Ryan is spiraling. I'm so livid with Beau. I warned him this would happen, andlookat her. She now has fresh cuts in her beautiful creamy thighs, which could have been avoided had he listened to me.
"Wanna tell me what happened, pretty girl?" I had asked her as I set her on her feet in my private playroom.
Ryan had shaken her head. "It was nothing, just a memory that popped up and got me a little anxious."
I took hold of her shoulders and gave her a look I only use when I'm in full Dom mode. It was not the time to lie to me, not after what she had just done. However, noticing the desolate look in her beautiful eyes, I pulled her to me instead of prying anything out of her.
"I'm here for you always, Ryan. Please understand that." I held her to me with one hand on her back and the other on the back of her head.
Her arms wrapped themselves around my waist, and in a small voice, I heard her say, "I know. Thank you, Bain."
As usual, Ryan took the whip gracefully. She reveled in the feel each time the falls kissed her skin. My body comes alive every time; typically, I would satisfy my need afterward, but that's no longer possible. A really cold fucking shower would have to suffice for now.
Beau showing up just as I was trying to get Ryan to stay here tonight was not what I had hoped would happen. I wasn't meaning that she should sleepwith me, but that she sleep in her bedroom here instead of the shelter. Of course, my hot-headed son just assumed shit, but I can't really blame him after everything that's happened.
I'm still holding onto Ryan's arm when I look pointedly at my son. "Meet me in my office. We need to have a little chat," I tell him with no room for argument—or so I thought.
