Page 8 of Lost Heir
Noticing my discomfort, Caelan acted with a tenderness that spoke volumes of the recent shift between us. He reached out, his hands enveloping mine, a shield against the biting wind. His breath, warm and steady, flowed over myfingers, a small gesture of care. He held both my hands in his, his actions gentle as he rubbed them together.
His touch, though filled with a gentleness meant to comfort, sparked unease within me. I wanted to pull away, but I was afraid he’d be offended. I knew he meant well, but I also knew his intentions. I couldn’t keep quiet much longer. He had to know how I truly felt.
“Caelan,” I began, my voice a mere whisper as I gently extricated my hands from his. “I think we should talk.”
His curiosity piqued, evidenced by a lifted brow. “Hmm?”
“I—” The words lodged in my throat, a barrier to the confession I needed to make. “I don’t want to make things uncomfortable between us, but you should know that I … I only see you as a friend. My best friend. And nothing more.”
He froze and slowly turned to face me. “Why?” was all he said, catching me off guard.
“Why?” I repeated dumbly. “Well … it’s just how I feel, how I’ve always felt. There’s really no explanation I can give you.” I stood my ground, although my heart raced.
Caelan’s reaction was immediate and intense, his physical presence overbearing as he stood. “When we were young, we promised to—”
“I was barely ten!” I protested, the absurdity of holding onto such words evident in the heat of my rebuttal as I stood to face him. “And you were what, twelve? We werechildren, Caelan. You can’t hold that against me.”
He gripped my shoulders and squeezed hard enough to make me wince. “I love you, Lyanna. I always have. Nothing can change that. You’ve been gone for ten years, just … just give us time. We’ll find our way back to each other,” he declared, his words a mix of plea and conviction.
But love was not a chain by which to be shackled. Ishrugged out of his hold, rubbing my shoulders where his fingers bit into the skin. “I don’t need time, Caelan. I love you … I really do. But only as a friend.”
His denial was soft-spoken. “You don’t mean that.”
I frowned. “Yes I do.”
“No,” he muttered to himself as he began to pace. “You don’t know what you want. You’ll realize with time that I’m the only one for you. That no one will ever love you as much as I do.”
He was rambling, and I was starting to get a headache. He obviously wasn’t listening to anything I said.
“You can’t make me love you in that way, Caelan. It won’t happen.”
He stepped toward me, encroaching into my personal space and glaring down at me. “Is it because ofhim?”
“Who?”
“Because of the savage we’ve taken hostage!” he yelled, spittle flying out of his mouth. “Don’t make me say his name,” he growled.
His accusation, linking my feelings—or the lack thereof—to Ronan, was a strike too far, a blow to the fragile bridge of understanding upon which we treaded. Caelan's anger, raw and unfocused, pushed me further away.
I winced and took a tentative step back. “You’re angry and you’re not thinking clearly. I think maybe we should get some sleep.”
I turned to leave when he snatched my upper arm roughly. “We’re not done!”
I ripped my arm out of his grasp. “Don’t youdaregrab me like that again!”
“If it werehim, you wouldn’t have a problem with it,” he scoffed.
“I would,” I countered. “I am not property that can be handled as you please!” I snapped.
“Lyanna, please,” he begged. “I didn’t mean to—”
“I think you did,” I said. “You’re not the boy I once knew, and the truth of that terrifies me. I think it’s best if we put some space between us. I’m leaving. Please don’t follow unless you really want to see what I’m capable of.” I spun on my heels and left him alone.
As I stormed away, leaving him in the grasp of his turmoil, the distance I put between us was not just physical, but a necessary division. He needed to learn that he couldn’t get everything he wanted—including me.
3
The next day I avoided Caelan at all costs, managing to scramble into the carriage with Selene before he could see me. He hadn’t approached me since last night, for which I was extremely thankful. Something about Caelan made me uneasy, but I couldn’t seem to pinpoint just what was bothering me, which only frustrated me further.
