Page 50 of The Gentleman Was Right
The blush that stained her cheeks was the only indication that she might feel the same, and he took her silence as an invitation to continue. “We don’t have to explain it. And you don’t have to tell me if you feel it, too. For better or worse, we’re married now, and I take that seriously.” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth. “I know you also take it seriously, otherwise you would have been married to Basil already.” He swallowed, his mouth suddenly too dry. “It’s only fair that I inform you that I intend to try to win your affections.”
“Affections.” She repeated the word softly, and then with a barely discernible grimace asked, “Have you ever been in love?”
“Umm…well…no,” he responded.
It was obviously not the time to reveal that he thought he could fall in love with her, so instead he added, “Once, I thought I was falling in love, but in the end, it was nothing more than lust, or maybe simply a desire for companionship.” Looking back, he wasn’t sure whether he’d actually liked Lady Hadley or whether he had appreciated that she seemed to like him.
Violet nodded and dropped her gaze to the ground between them as if she couldn’t bear to look at him when she spoke. “I loved Basil with my entire being. I was so enamored it didn’t occur to me to question his feelings.” She swallowed. “When I discovered he was in love with someone else, I confronted him, and he said he felt a great deal ofaffectionfor me.” She smiled weakly and looked up, her eyes swimming with tears. “Affection is the last thing I want. Not now. Not ever. I cannot offer it, nor can I receive it…it’s…it’s too much.”
He could see it now. The patchwork of emotional wounds that she had acquired during her betrothal. Her pain radiated between them. More than anything, he wanted to take it away. He wanted to heal her heart and then protect it for the rest of time.
Regrettably, he couldn’t do either of those things, at least not yet. There was no way she would allow him to help her heal until after she learned to trust him, and so, if he couldn’t protect her from her pain, he would do the next best thing and offer comfort.
Giving her enough time to object, he slowly and deliberately scooted closer.
When her thigh was flush with his, he reached out and gently pulled her into his arms. She came without hesitation, letting him wrap her in his embrace. It was a relief to feel her heart beating strongly against his chest while her breath stuttered into the crease of his neck.
Having her in his arms fired both his protective instincts and his lustful ones.
He fought his body’s physical response, not because he thought it would bother her, but because it was ill-timed. While he was no expert on intimacy, he knew that being allowed to hold her like this was a precious gift, and he wanted to savor it while he could. He kept his mouth closed, unsure whether speaking would reassure her or obliterate her ability to relax.
All the while, his mind churned with one simple question—what could he do to convince her that she could trust him?
His normal inclinations seemed more likely to cause harm than good, but he didn’t know who he was if not a charming man with a ready smile who offered kind words as frequently as possible. It was how he’d always coped in a world that hadn’t consistently given him what he’d needed.
She sighed softly, and he reminded himself that he needed to be patient with her. She’d dealt with significant upheaval over the last year, and perhaps time would help her heal. When she sniffled, there was only one thing he was certain of; he would not utter the word affection in her presence again.
Continuing to hold her, he tried to think of another word—one that didn’t hold painful memories for her, but it was hard. Fond was too bland. Adore too emotional. Love too powerful.
Not that he wouldn’t attempt to earn her love, just that he could imagine her reaction if he told her he wanted it. She’d probably kick him in the bollocks and then laugh him out of London.
Abruptly, she started to pull away, and he almost tightened his grip so she couldn’t escape before realizing that he would never win her trust if he tried to control her. Reluctantly, he unwrapped his arms and then released her so hastily that she almost fell backward off the settee.
“Apologies,” he said, steadying her and then smiling to try to ease the awkwardness between them.
She nodded as she studied him, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth. Her gaze dipped. “Will you kiss me again?”
“Kiss you?” It was the last request he’d expected, and he couldn’t resist the swell of hunger that ricocheted directly to his cock, lengthening and thickening it.
Maybe it was because she was his wife now.
Or maybe it was the emotion of the day.
Or maybe it was simply her.
Whatever it was, he couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt such instantaneous desire, and while there was nothing he wanted more than to kiss her, he couldn’t help feeling as if it were a bad idea.
She was emotional. He was emotional.
The timing seemed off.
“Please,” she whispered
Her quiet plea was too much to resist, and he barely kept enough control to say, “Of course.”
Leaning forward, he gently, almost carefully, cupped her face with his hands and pressed his lips to hers. As soon as he felt their softness coupled with the silkiness of her skin, he lost the battle to take it slow and kissed her like he’d die if he didn’t.
She reacted just as fervently—as if she desired him as much as he desired her.
