Page 30 of The Lady Was Lying
“Hmm. I suppose his recent arrival does make his lack of theatre attendance rather believable.” She shrugged. “Emmeline invited him to join us in our box tonight. Did she tell you?”
“Not us,” Belinda said. “I’m not going to the theatre.”
“You weren’t going to dinner either. Methinks you won’t be able to resist joining us.”
“I am not attending the theatre tonight.” She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Especially not after proclaiming it so vehemently to Jane.
Jane giggled. “As you say.”
“I won’t,” Belinda vowed, more than a little annoyed. Why did everyone suddenly feel the need to speculate about her intentions? “Are you trying to vex me?”
“Absolutely,” Jane replied. “How did you know?”
Growing up, Jane had been the kindest of her siblings. Admitting that she was intentionally irritating Belinda seemed entirely out of character, and Belinda could not fathom her motivation. “Why are you trying to vex me?”
“Someone has to.”
“Why?” Belinda asked, her frown deepening.
“Because of that. Right there.” She pointed at Belinda’s mouth. “Something is wrong with you. At first glance, your surliness is nothing out of the ordinary. Snippy and easily annoyed is normal behavior for you.” Belinda’s eyes narrowed, and Jane shook her head, laughing softly. “But lately you’ve been upset. Like you’re truly unhappy about something.”
“I do not like London.”
“You liked it fine last year,” Jane countered. “And you could have stayed at Greydon Hall if you didn’t want to come with us.”
“I—” She snapped her mouth shut.
“What? Stop pretending you’re fine. Say whatever you were thinking.”
“I have nothing to say.” Belinda fell backward onto her bed. “However, I suppose you’re right. I ought to return to Greydon Hall forthwith.”
Maybe leaving was the solution.
“What?” Jane gasped. “No. That is not what I meant. I want you to talk to me, not leave.”
Fleeing London had worked before. When scandal had threatened during her season, Sebastian had bundled her into a carriage and sent her away. The urge to misbehave had faded once she was away from London, and she’d eventually convinced herself she was happy.
Her behavior over the past couple of days confirmed she wasn’t as happy as she’d thought. Apparently, unhelpful urges had been simmering below the surface all these years, waiting to re-emerge and ruin everything. As soon as she had agreed to return to society for Jane’s ball, she’d felt the shift inside of her. She’d tried to control it, but she had failed.
Breaking her word to Sebastian.
Kissing a stranger in a public place.
Sneaking into the duke’s carriage, deciding she’d seduce him no matter the cost, and then almost following through.
She was perilously close to regressing into her former self—a foolish girl who lashed out because it was easier than facing her faults. Luckily, she was older now. Wiser too. And she was aware enough to recognize her behavior for what it was.
An expression of dissatisfaction with herself.
She swung her legs out of bed and rose to her feet. It was high time she took responsibility for her actions. “I’ll seek an audience with Sebastian once I’ve finished my toilette. He will send me home forthwith.”
Jane gasped. “No. Please don’t. I’ll stop badgering you. No more vexing, either.” She clenched her hands in front of her chest and pleaded, “Please stay. I don’t want you to go.”
“Whyever not?” Until the last month, they had not been particularly close.
“Because I need you here. Louisa abandoned me, and when I see her, she doesn’t want to talk about my debut. I respect her decision to avoid the bustle of the season until next year when it is her turn, but I miss her companionship.” Jane and Louisa were close in age and had been thick as thieves for most of their lives. The changing of their situations this season seemed to have driven a wedge between them.
Jane paused and then whispered, “I am lonely without her.”
