Page 58 of The Lady Was Lying
“I couldn’t say. But it is easy to apply what we’ve witnessed in others to ourselves. Regrettably, it isn’t always suitable. In my experience, it can even be futile and confounding, especially if your expectations are not met.”
“A new perspective doesn’t necessarily change anything. I’m still…me.”
“Perhaps it doesn’t change anything overtly, but it does allow you to see yourself more clearly.”
“I’m not confused about who I am.” Or was she?
“Then why have you been so gloomy lately?”
“Because I didn’t get what I wanted.” In frustration, she pressed the heel of her hand into her forehead. Why did James’s rejection still bother her so much?
“What did you want?” Emmeline asked.
“It doesn’t matter. It isn’t an option any longer. I need to forget about it and move on.”
“Moving on can be hard.” Emmeline reached out and clasped her hand. “I imagine whatever is bothering you matters quite a bit, but if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t push. Please remember that Sebastian and I are here for you. Whatever you need. You know that, right?”
“I do.”
If only she knew what she needed, she might be able to ask for help.
Chapter Twelve
When James ventured to the Earl of Greydon’s townhouse for dinner later that week, there were significantly more people than the first night he’d dined at the townhouse. Danford and his wife Clarissa had joined them, along with Belinda, Edward, Louisa, Edward’s wife Violet, and her sister Isabelle. The meal had been quite a bit more boisterous than James was used to, with talk across the table and side conversations galore. Twice they were interrupted by children, and no one flinched when a full glass of wine was overturned.
It was the opposite of meals at his townhouse, but he didn’t mind the chaos. Even though he was trying not to be overt, he spent more than a little of his time observing Belinda. She was quiet, withdrawn in a similar way to how she’d been in the carriage, and even when she was engaged in conversation, she seemed muted. She had not spoken to him or so much as glanced in his direction since his arrival, and the absence of her attention was noticeable.
At least to him.
It had taken a bit of time for him to realize that anything was amiss.
She’d been absorbed in conversation with her brother Edward when he first arrived, and it would have been odd if she’d abandoned the conversation immediately. They had never sought each other out in such a blatant manner when in mixed company, and it wasn’t reasonable to expect that she would do so now.
As the evening wore on, it became apparent that she was purposefully avoiding him. Part of him was gratified. She wouldn’t have any reason to ignore him unless her emotions were as engaged as his own. The rest of him was annoyed. Their previous interactions suggested she was the sort to confront, not retreat.
Where was the woman who had vowed to seduce him? And how did he find her again?
He was aware that the missteps he’d made during their initial meetings—almost kissing her, insulting her, daring her to seduce him—were a barrier he’d have to overcome if he wanted to court her. She wasn’t the sort of woman who said things she didn’t mean. Nor was she the sort to easily forgive rejection. He hadn’t imagined she would welcome a declaration of interest from him, but he hadn’t imagined she’d completely ignore him either.
The urge to march up to her and demand she speak to him, consequences be damned, was difficult to resist. Infuriating her did not seem the proper way to embark on a stealthy courtship, so he kept his demeanor casual, waiting patiently for the right time to approach her.
When Emmeline and Clarissa disappeared to see to the children, James decided that the evening was going to end before he identified the right time. He took a handful of steps toward Belinda only to have Jane halt his progress with a hand on his arm. “Your Grace. Is something the matter?”
She was as beautiful as ever in a pale pink gown, and instead of enjoying her company as he usually did, he had to resist the urge to glance longingly at Belinda. “Not at all.”
“Are you sure? You seem…distracted.”
“I am well,” he smiled as convincingly as he could manage.
“My sister is not herself either.” She bit her lip. “Had you noticed?”
“I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with Lady Belinda this evening.”
“Because she’s avoiding you.”
“She’s—” No additional words came. Was it obvious to everyone, or just Jane?
Without consent from his brain, his eyes darted to where they’d last seen Belinda. She remained in the same spot, alone in the corner, staring out the window. What was she thinking about so pensively?
