Page 68 of Blue-Eyed Jacks
Why?Despite the larger size and amenities, that bathroom reminded me too much of the one at Shock’s headquarters.The one the hookers used.Judging by the series of three doors along one wall, Jackson kept hookers here, too.
Was I okay with that?
He’d told me his mother was one.Could I possibly be judgmental of him knowing about his childhood?I shook my head.No.That wasn’t what bothered me.It was deeper than that.A fear that he was going to be like Shock.Myhands trembled.I stared at them, trying to will myself to be stronger.I had to be.Zoe needed me.
Of course, she had her dad now.
With that thought, a pang of sorrow sliced through my heart.I was deathly afraid of this.Not only losing my daughter, but possibly to a man as evil as Shock.Worse?I didn’t know if I wanted to escape from Jackson should the depths of my imaginings come true.Nor could I count on Zoe to see reason if escape was necessary.
Thank God for John.He verified my story with Zoe, giving it the gravitas needed to convince her to leave with me.
And they’d shot him.Shock did that.
Not Jackson…yet.
A soft knock tapped on the door.“You okay in there?”Jackson’s voice was quiet, barely discernible over the constant thrum of noise from the jukebox a floor below.Didn’t these assholes ever sleep?
“I’m fine.”
He cleared his throat.“I’ll believe that when you get your ass out here.”
Spoken differently, it would have scared me.But he said it so kindly, I had to wonder if I was wrong to worry.Then again, I’d been proven utterly wrong with my father.“Give me a minute.”
I washed my face and hands and nudged a half-hearted pep talk into my backbone.But the effect was fleeting.I had no strength left to fight.
“Babe?”
That soft prompt made me open the door to glare at him.He smiled.
Shock would have hurt me for that defiance.
“I’m scared.”
Jackson blinked.Then opened his arms.“Come here.”
I wanted to.But this was not something solved by a hug.Shock would kill him.Despite Jackson’s position or his club as guards, I had an acute understanding of the vindictive evil aimed at us.“Shock is going to kill us.”
He dropped his hands and sighed.“He’ll kill me.”His face turned grim.“Once that happens, you and Zoe…”
Yes.I knew the dark place his words had trailed off to.I’d lived it.I’d survived and fled.In doing so, I’d killed at least one man, and gravely wounded another already.Not to mention Cara, who never resurfaced.
“I’m not going to let that happen.”
He was delusional.“It’s going to happen.”
Jackson grabbed me and pulled me close.His fingers cupped my chin, but they weren’t bruising like Shock’s would have been.“Listen to me.I will move the heavens for you and Zoe.No one is going to get through me.But if they do, I’ve got plans for that.”
“Like?”
His jaw tightened.“My VP, Wolf… he’s got a wife who works with a group who can move you, hide you, give you a whole new identity.Her name is Tits, but don’t let that fool you.She’s a badass with expertise in making that sort of thing happen.She knows how to keep you and Zoe safe.”
While it was a relief to know there was a plan, it still meant he’d be dead.“Jackson…”
The arm around my waist tightened, and his grip on my chin turned into a caress.“I don’t want to die.I want to live… for you.For Zoe, too, but mostly you.We deserve this.We deservehappy.”
Which was why it wouldn’t happen.The perversity of fate meant two people like Jackson and I wouldn’t ever get a happily ever after.Eventually, the life we were tangled with would eat us alive.
“You deserve happiness, Kate.”This time, his sigh sounded defeated.“You’re right.I don’t deserve happiness.But you… my God, Kate, you were born to be everything happiness is.You’re beautiful, so damn beautiful, and you’re not a bitch about it.You could be.But instead, you hold yourself with such grace and strength that I’m awed.You’ve become a wonderful mother and person.I can’t compete with that.”
