Page 38 of Claimed By the Heartless Highlander
She walked away before she could do something she would regret.
It hurt more than she’d thought it would. Being resigned to a loveless marriage was bad enough, but to one that was devoid of both love and trust, and scarcely involved even basic courtesy… that she’d not tolerate.
After the disaster of that last conversation, she’d studiously avoided speaking to Duncan, or even looking at him if she could. She didn’t want him to try to continue to sway her.
Not with apologies that ultimately were only empty words. Nor with the physical attraction that still threatened to make her melt when he was nearby. And she absolutely refused to give him an opportunity to try and persuade her by “fulfilling” more of her fantasies.
And damn him for usin’ that as an argument against me. And me for lettin’ it happen, and bein’ swayed by it. I’ll nae accept such behavior anymore.
She might be a naive, overly caring dreamer, scarcely more woman than her sisters in her betrothed’s eyes, but she knew her worth. She’d not be persuaded to accept his current terms with passionate encounters up against the wall like a wanton wench with no pride in herself.
She also refused to give him more chances to confuse her or break her heart further by drawing her in and then pushing her away again. Love might be an unattainable dream for her, but she hadn’t lied that night when she declared that she deserved consistency at least.
Ailis shook her head to dispel her gloomy thoughts as she packed her bags and made sure she had all her books and writings tucked securely for the journey. Jack had offered her the small, open-top carriage for a smoother, easier journey, and she’d accepted, glad for the extra room to pack her belongings, such as the dresses the maids had helped her make during the week.
Some time at Maisie’s would help soothe her heart and clear her mind. From there, she could decide what to do next. She half hoped that Duncan would write and ask her to return, as she’d demanded that day when she’d sent a letter to Maisie saying that she wanted to make an extended visit. Still, his actions thus far didn’t give her a great amount of faith that he would.
She closed the bag and handed it to Kara to take to the waiting carriage, then followed behind. She’d just reached the door when the small figure she’d been looking for came running toward her.
“Ailis!”
“Lily-lass.” She caught the child and stroked back her dark hair. The child’s face was despondent, her eyes brimming with tears. “What’s got ye so upset?”
Lily sniffled. “Ye’re leavin’.”
“Aye. I told ye I was goin’ to visit some friends for a time.”
“But how long?”
“I dinnae ken just yet.” Ailis couldn’t break the child’s heart by telling her that it depended on her father, or saying that she might never return. “The weather’s fairly unpredictable in the spring, ye ken, and it might be some time afore I can return.”
“But ye will?”
“I’ll do me best.” It was the kindest and most honest answer she could give.
Lily sniffled again. “I want to go with ye.”
Ailis sighed and hugged the little girl close. “I wish ye could, for I think ye’d like me friends, and I ken me friend Leona has a daughter near yer age. But yer faither feels ye’re nae quite up to the ride.”
“But ye’re goin’ in the carriage.”
“I ken. But it’s still a long way. Besides, I dinnae think ye’ll have so much fun.”
“Why nae?”
Ailis ruffled the child’s hair and forced a smile on her face. “Because, little lass, ye dinnae like penmanship lessons, nor sewin’, nor readin’ lessons. And me friends and I do a lot of those things. Writin’, readin’, and sewin’. Besides, at this time of year, the weather’s likely to be changeable as the Fae Folk’s mood, which means fewer chances to play in the gardens or practice yer sword-play.”
Lily frowned. “Still could be fun.”
“It could, but I think ye’d be happier overall playin’ with yer uncle Jack here. Mayhap when summer comes, ye might come with me to help with berry pickin’ and jam makin’, and when ye’re older, ye might form a book club of yer own with the other children. But nae for now.”
“But later? Ye promise?” Lily looked up at her with hopeful eyes.
“I hope so, lass. I do.” Ailis kissed the bairn on the forehead, then put her down. “Now, have ye gone to feed Blaze and her pups this morn?”
Lily shook her head.
“Then ‘tis best ye do that. After all, if ye want to convince yer faither that ye’re old enough to have a pup for a pet, ye have to prove ye can take care of them.”
