Page 78 of A Virgin for the Vicious Highlander
Cecilia lay on the floor in the small hall where the household tended to gather on cold nights to stay warm, and she laughed merrily as Dipper licked her face and pounced on her, lavishing her with attention. He held no grudge over her brief absence, though the same could not be said for Murdoch.
“Are ye nae goin’ to talk to me?” Murdoch asked gruffly, standing near the fireplace.
Cecilia held the puppy up and brought him back down again, kissing his soft fur. “I didnae think there was anythin’ more to be said between us. I assumed I’d receive a letter tellin’ me that me keep was ready. There was nay need for ye to come in person.”
“And I assumed thatyewould return of yer own accord,” he muttered in reply.
“Why would I do that when ye made it clear that ye didnae want me anywhere near ye?” she retorted, refusing to look at him. “This way, ye didnae have to see me ever again. That was what ye wanted, was it nae?”
Murdoch huffed out an annoyed breath. “Would ye sit up and look at me?”
“Nay, I willnae. I’m playin’ with me pup.” Cecilia smothered the puppy in more kisses, grateful to have him in her arms again.
Of course, she would have liked to have Murdoch holdherin his arms again, but she could not forget the way he had abandoned her after she had justsurvived death. It still hurt too much, being dismissed like that.
“I’m… sorry,” he sighed, his broad chest rising and falling.
She peered at him, saying nothing.
“I’m sorry for the way I behaved before ye left,” he continued a moment later, clearly uncomfortable but pushing through it. “Aye, I did suggest that I couldnae have ye near me, but… I was mistaken. I have missed ye, lass. I have missed ye more than I thought I would.”
She sat up slowly, holding Dipper in her arms. Even he was still, as if he understood the importance of the moment.
“I’ve come to realize that I love ye,” he confessed, before clearing his throat. “I didnae ken what love was, so I couldnae recognize it. But I ken now, and I have made a vow to meself to be a better man for ye. Nae just that, but I have made a vow to meself to learn how to love ye properly. Trouble is, I need a teacher.”
She gaped at him, almost too stunned to speak. Of all the things she had expected to hear from him, that had not been on the list at all—a love confession, shyly and uncomfortably made, letting her know that he meant it.
“But… what about bairns? What about yer stance on havin’ a family? What about yer bloodline nonsense?” she choked out, for ifthathad not changed, then she would not change her mind either.
It would not matter that she loved him in return and that she wanted nothing more than to go home with him. She couldnotlive an unfulfilled life, with her dream of motherhood snatched away from her. She just could not. She had spent eleven years abiding by rules, existing in a way that restricted her—she would not do it again.
“Yeare the only thing I care about,” he replied without hesitation. “Nothin’ else is important. If ye want a bairn, I’ll give ye one. If ye want ten, we can have ‘em.”
Cecilia narrowed her eyes at him. “Are ye just sayin’ that so I’ll return to Castle Moore with ye?”
“Nay.” His eyes narrowed on her too. “I’ve… pondered over some things since ye departed and on the journey here. I think I’m beginnin’ to understand that any bairn of ours wouldnae be me faither’s grandchild. It would be made ofye.Made of everythin’ that’s good in ye—which is a lot. That pup ought to be feral or dead, considerin’ he was abandoned, but he adores ye. He couldnae love anythin’ more than ye.”
Cecilia slowly rose to her feet, still holding the puppy. “So, ye’ve… developed a kinship with Dipper?”
“Ye didnae have to put it like that,” Murdoch grumbled. “But aye, in a way. Because of him, because of all I’ve thought about, I ken that any child of ours would be… perfect. Loved. Different from me. They wouldnae be able to help it, with ye as their maither. And, as I said, I want to be taught how to love things properly so that I might be a good faither too. Ye were right—thatis a better vengeance. Me bairns never kennin’ their grandfaither, his name fallin’ into oblivion. That’s sweet revenge, indeed. The sweetest.”
Cecilia could not have agreed more, but she was not ready to say so just yet. In truth, she could not quite believe that he was standing there, saying such… charming things.
“Were ye replaced on the road here?” she asked, eyeing him warily. “Did ye meet faeries who replaced ye with a changelin’?”
He gave her a mock withering look. “If that cannae convince ye, here…” He took something out of a fold in his kilt and handed it to her. “I ken ye burned yers, so I thought I’d write one of me own. For us.”
It was a folded piece of paper. Cecilia took it and set Dipper down as he tried to bite it. She took her time unfolding it, uncertain but secretly hopeful of what she might find.
It was better than her wildest dreams.
“A list…” she whispered, reading through the entries.
One – I mean to make love to ye, in our bed, as often as ye desire.
Two – I want to kiss ye well and often.
Three – I promise to be gentler. Make of that what ye will.
