Page 66 of The Highlander's Auctioned Wife
“Well… I’m certain there were many Lairds at the auction who offered things ye might like, love being one of them.” Beathan hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure whether he should continue. “I’m also certain that me nephew has informed ye that loveisnaesomethin’ he can offer.
“He’s honest. Bluntly so, at times. That’s what I cannae understand, why a bonny lass like ye would accept a lovelessmarriage. Of course, it’s nae me place or me business, but… me curiosity remains.”
A strange pinch of hurt caught Anna between the ribs, stealing her breath for a moment. Gordonhadn’tsaid that he couldn’t love her. She hadn’t considered this at first, as she hadn’t gotten to know him yet, but to imagine a loveless union now seemed a terrible thing. Indeed, it was something sheshouldhave been thinking about, yet it hadn’t cropped up.
I suppose I expected that therewouldbe love, eventually, with the way things were going.Her cheeks burned at her naivety, her mouth unable to admit the words.
“I’ve upset ye,” Beathan said, grimacing. “I’m sorry, M’Lady. It wasnae me intention. As I said, it’s none of me business. Ye must have yer reasons, and it’s nae me place to ken them. Please, forgive me. I’ll leave ye be.”
He turned to depart but Anna lunged for him, grabbing him by the sleeve of his shirt, pulling him back in desperation. She had questions, he had answers; she wouldn’t let him leave until she was satisfied.
“Why would love nae be somethin’ he could offer?” she blurted out, swallowing down the feeling of foolishness that rose up her throat.
Beathan came back to the wall, taking hold of both Anna’s hands, keeping them warm with his own. “Me nephew has suffered a great deal in his life, M’Lady,” he began haltingly.“For twenty years, he’s built a… shell around himself, around his heart. He doesnaewantlove of any kind to breach that armor, nor does he ever want to be dependent on anyone but himself.”
“But… why?” Anna rasped, her own heart aching.
Beathan smiled sadly. “Because his maither died in his arms, from a broken heart. The shock of seein’ her husband dead just… made her heart stop. Ever since, he has never wanted a love like that, or for anyone to lovehimlike that. Nay connection of any sort.”
His maither died in his arms…
A lump formed in Anna’s throat, her eyes pricking with tears for a boy she had never known, who had become the man down there in the training ground. A man who carried such terrible pain on his broad shoulders and bore it as if it weighed nothing… or pretended to.
I daenaeken him at all.
It was a shocking realization, how little she had actually learned about Gordon. It was even more shocking to realize how deliberate that was, on his part—he had been so vague with her, and she hadn’t pressed him, content to be distracted by other things instead of digging to the marrow of who he was.
“If that’s true,” she replied, her head swimming with confusion, “then why does he want bairns? Is that nae a connection? Is thatnae a means of bringin’ love into yer life? How could ye have bairns andnaelove them?”
Beathan shrugged. “I can only speak of me own bastards, but I keep me distance. I havenae met most of them. I suppose he thinks it’ll be similar—that he can secure the clan’s legacyandkeep his distance, leavin’ the rearin’ to ye.” He hesitated, the wind whipping his hair around his face. “But this cannae be news to ye, M’Lady. Ye’ll have discussed this before ye came here, nay?”
That foolish feeling began to rise through Anna’s chest again, forcing her to turn her gaze away from the older man. And though that embarrassment simmered to a feverish heat that swept through her, she felt the sudden need to defend herself, and to defend Gordon, if only to save face.
“M’Laird, nay one at the auction offered me love anyway,” she insisted, her throat tight. “Even if theyhadoffered it, it’s nae somethin’ that can be promised—nae really. Ye cannae swear love from the start; that’s pure foolishness to vow and, worse, to believe.”
She had no doubt that some of the Lairds she never ended up meeting would have made grand promises and gestures to her, and she’d have been just as naïve as to take them at their word.
What she had just said was true, whether she liked it or not: lovecouldn’tbe promised between people who didn’t know each other. Love grew from a seed of connection; it wasn’t planted fully formed.
“Aye, what Gordon offered was far more temptin’ to a lass like me,” Anna added with a decisive nod. “Thatis why I came, and why I’m still here.Thatis why I ‘settled’ for his offer.”
“And what was it that he offered?” Beathan asked.
Anna cleared her dry throat and tilted her chin up. “Freedom to be meself.”
“I see.” Beathan nodded, as though his curiosity had finally been satisfied. “Then that’s good for ye, lass. Aye, that’s as fine a reason as any to settle. Just… be careful, M’Lady.”
“Of what?”
He let go of her hands, bowing his head. “Of yer expectations.” He began to move toward the door. “Dinnae expect what he cannae give. Dinnae expect that ye can change him, because this is who he is—it is who he has been for two decades. And as ye have freedom to be yerself, so does he.”
“I ken that,” she replied stubbornly.
“I pray that ye do.” He expelled a weary sigh, glancing back at her with sad eyes. “Indeed, I’d hate for ye to end up brokenhearted after it’s too late to alter yer circumstances, because ye wed him in the hope that love would grow where it never will.”
Offering a sympathetic smile, Beathan departed, leaving Anna alone at the top of the tower, wondering if the vast distance between her and Gordon wasn’t merely physical, after all.
CHAPTER 31
