Page 71 of The Highlander's Auctioned Wife
Immediately, he stepped back, denying her his touch. “Are ye hurt?”
“Nay… nay, it’s nae that,” she said, struggling to catch her breath. “Ye’ve… fogged me mind again.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And that’s nae what ye want?”
“I do but… Och, ye’re doin’ it again!” She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. “Ye asked what else I needed to ken about ye, and the truth is, what ye can make me feel—like this—isnae enough. I need to ken everythin’. Iwasnaeplayin’ games when I asked for this betrothal period. I needed it because… because I daenae trust men. I cannevertrust a man thanks to this curse of a blessin’ that I have. And, at the moment, I daenae trust ye or yer intentions.”
She opened her eyes again, hoping to see something encouraging in his expression.
He tilted his head to one side, his brow furrowing as he looked at her. Yet, his face remained unreadable, as if a wall had gone up while she had had her eyes closed.
“Because I hastened the inevitable?” he replied, a note too coldly for her liking.
“Because I do nae ken ye!” she shot back, frustration prickling through her veins. “Ye’re… a stranger, still. I thought I was startin’ to understand ye, but then ye changed everythin’. I either want a reason why ye did that, a true reason, or I want ye to tell me that this is just how ye are—that ye daenae actually care about givin’ me a choice and freedom at all. That it was all just a ruse of yer own to win me hand.”
His expression hardened, and he took another half step away from her. “What is it ye actually want from me?” he said huskily. “What is it ye want me to say?”
She hadn’t anticipated getting questions in return, prompting her to falter for a moment. Everything she’d prepared since speaking to her brother had evaporated, leaving her floundering.
“I… want ye to tell me what I can expect from this marriage,” she blurted out, as Beathan’s warning crept into the void left behind by all of that useless, vanished rehearsing. “I want ye to tell me that the bairns we might have, the bairns ye so long for, will come from love. At a time when me and ye are ready for that. Nae now, of course, but… aye, I wish for ye to tell me that our bairns will come from love, and that I have a say in when and how they come into this world. I wish for ye to tell me that that hopewasnaestolen away from me the moment I was born a lass in me family.”
Her bosom heaved at the exertion of her speech, her entire being shocked by the revelation that was now out there in the world. She hadn’t even known that was what she truly desired until it had poured from her; all she’d known was that she wanted a choice inwhoshe had children with. Yet, she felt it, down to her marrow, that she had spoken more honestly than she had in years.
But as the minutes ticked by, Gordon said nothing, the silence stretching between them until it felt like something might snap.
Say somethin’! Anythin’!
Gordon willed words to rise up his throat, but they wouldn’t come. And the longer it took him to speak, the sadder Anna became, the brightness dimming in her before his very eyes. He would have preferred to stand beneath a hail of arrows or before a charging cavalry, pikes aimed at him, than have to bear the sight of her like that, knowing he had caused the sorrow on her face.
But I cannae lie. I cannae—nay,willnaelove her.
He was a boy holding his gasping mother in his arms again, while the blood of his father and brother spread across the flagstones toward them, an encroaching tide of red.
There would always be threats against him, no matter how tirelessly he worked to fend them off, no matter how many enemies he defeated. And threats against him meant threats against her, against their children, against their future.
I’ve already gotten too close to ye, Anna.
But if he could make her hate him, perhaps she would be safe. If he could marry her and send her away, maybe no harm would ever befall her or any children they had, securing her future and that of the clan, at the very least. His own future wouldn’tmatter, as long as he could keep her and the clan safe and prosperous.
Or maybe, I shouldnae marry her at all. Maybe, I daenaeneed bairns, once I ken the name of the person who destroyed me family.
He thought of David, waiting for him at the dungeons, wishing he had allowed his m an-at-a rms to give him the name instead of getting distracted by Anna. That way, he would better know how this ought to conclude, whether to keep Anna close or send her far from him.
“I can tell ye the reason why I came to that auction, and let ye make yer own conclusions,” he said flatly. “I cannae give ye more than that. I dinnae promise more.”
Anna’s eyes pinched, her head moving in a slow nod. “Very well.”
“I was kidnapped,” he began. “About a month before that auction, I was taken from this castle. I’d arranged a… festival of sorts, to commemorate me faither—me braither and maither too, in truth. A feast to mark twenty years since they were killed, to honor their memory, so nay one could ever forget.”
With a hand to her chest, Anna’s expression softened, a different kind of sadness replacing the one he had caused. He couldn’t much bear the sight of that, either. He didn’t want pity, just revenge.
“They were clever,” he continued. “There was somethin’ in me drink—I’d wager a small measure of that somethin’ in every cup, so I wouldnae notice at first. Eventually, I started seein’ things. Things that were nae there, and I followed the… ghosts down to the crypt, to speak to me braither and me parents. I was dizzy as anythin’, and it still took four of ‘em to capture me.
“They took me to some ruins that belong to nay one, held me prisoner in a dungeon. I was there for weeks, and while I was there, they tried to torture me. I wasnae receptive to it; pain is an old friend to me. Even when they took me eye, they couldnae break me.
“They made a mistake, as I kenned they would, and I escaped. That might have been the end of it, had they nae been instructed by the same person who killed me family.”
Anna’s breath hitched, her eyes glittering with tears that beaded on her long, fair lashes. “I… had nay idea. I’m so sorry, Gordon.”
