Page 14 of The Last Thing
One souvenir from an amazing night won’t hurt, right?
My eyes sweep the apartment again, and I smile, remembering every moment, then force myself to leave and let it all become a memory.
CHAPTER FIVE
HALLIE
When I was a kid,my mom used to tell me that the consequences of my actions were important. I could learn from them so I wouldn’t repeat them.
I’ve learned a very important lesson.
Condoms are useless.
Tears crest in my eyes as I dive forward and puke again.
No one to hold my hair.
No one to tell.
No one to buy me ice cream and let me cry until they can make me laugh.
Sure, the football boys are in the city, and I love them, but it’s not the same.
My sisters—Frannie and Kend, who I’ll always consider my oldest sister—aren’t here anymore. Justin, my surrogate brother, left before they did.
If Frannie hadn’t met Mark when she did, I would be completely alone here.
My parents are close by, but I’m not ready to let them in on this dumpster fire yet.
I miss my people.
Frannie left because she never felt at home in the city. She’s a quiet, small-town girl at heart. Kennedy left because she found her home building a life with Devon. Justin left initially because he was looking for a place that felt like home. He’s closer now that he’s finally found it. Not far from Frannie upstate. And I’m here alone. This apartment doesn’t feel like home anymore. Nothing does. For me, it’s never been a place that makes a home, but who I’m with, and most of the people I love left me behind.
And now I’m about to start sobbing in the middle of my bathroom.
Why am I so easy to leave?
I put my hand on my stomach. “Don’t leave me, kid, okay? I’ve got you and you’ve got me. Deal?”
I sniff and wipe my eyes, then get up and make my way out to the living room. Collapsing on the couch, I grab my stupid, gray bunny and hold it close. The one thingDeckleft me with.
Well, not the only thing anymore.
I don’t know what the fuck to do with that. Start looking on social media for random guys named Deck? If that’s even any kind of real name?
I don’t mind being a Lorelai Gilmore—with better parental boundaries—and raising a kid alone. It’s what I was planning to do one day. Settle into some type of career, find my stability, save up money, visit a sperm bank, and use the turkey baster method.
I’ve always loved kids and I have always wanted to be a mom.
While Frannie was playing bride and Kennedy was playing reporter, I was pretending to be a mom. That’s what I wanted.
That doesn’t mean I want Deck to miss out on having a relationship with his child.
I look at the bunny’s face, then give it a shake, as if it’s a Magic 8 Ball that will randomly give me his contact info.
Fuck.
I need to get my shit together.
