Page 30 of The Last Thing
“Apparently. The thing is… back in August, I was down there for a friend’s wedding and I had a one-night stand…” I clear my throat and his brows go up. “With Frannie’s sister. But we didn’t exchange full names, so I had no idea and she had no idea and this morning we found out.”
“Wow.”
“Yes. And she’s worked as a nanny for years. Lives across the hall from us. Seems to have a good heart. Soph already loves her. But would it be crazy to have her be Sophia’s nanny after what happened between us?”
“Look, I’m just going to ask… do you want it to happen again?”
“In a perfect fucking world, of course. But in reality, I can keep my dick in my pants.”
“Then you’ve answered your own question. If you can both be professional, then I don’t see a problem. Assuming you feel she’s comfortable with it.”
“I think so.”
“Then talk to her. Worst case she’s not, and she becomes the fun neighbor Sophia talks to now and then. But if she is, and you can both be professional, it should be fine.” Then he laughs and shakes his head. “But I get it. It’s complicated. I told myself over and over I wasn’t going to sleep with my daughter’s danceteacher and I’ve been married to her for over fifteen years now, so what the fuck do I know? I guess what I’m saying is, play it by ear, but don’t write it off because of your history. Maybe fate’s bringing you back together for a reason.”
I let that settle in. It makes the most sense. No matter how incredible that night was, I can put it aside and be professional, and if Hallie can do the same, there’s no reason we shouldn’t do this.
“Thanks, Leo.”
“No problem. Have a good day, Deck.”
“Yeah, you too.”
“IsHallie going to be my nanny?” Sophia asks through a yawn as I’m tucking her into bed.
I’m surprised it took her this long to ask, but she was busy telling me every detail of her day, then I distracted her by telling her she could take dance classes with Lara. Because as long as Hallie is on board, I’m determined to make this nannying thing work.
“I hope so. I’m going to talk to her about it tonight. But you have to go to sleep first.”
She gives me her grumpiest face, and I lean in and kiss her nose, then gently run my fingers through her light brown hair.
Even when the entire world is a dumpster fire, Soph is perfect. She’s the best part of my life, no question. Even when one or both of us is struggling, we make it through together. Usually with a little help from my mom.
Mom’s always been my biggest supporter. My dad died ten years ago, so when Sophia was born eight years ago, she devoted her time to being our rock. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing when Sophia’s mom told me she was pregnant.
We’d been dating about six months and it was all just okay. We were young. Still figuring ourselves out.
She didn’t decide right away about keeping Sophia, and I gave her my full support with either option. I love Sophia with all my heart and I have no regrets, but at barely twenty-three and in an iffy relationship, I wasn’t longing for a kid then, either.
Soph changed it all, though.
Her mom struggled through the pregnancy. It was high risk. She was uncomfortable and unhappy. She had to quit a job she loved because she couldn’t work and was hospitalized all the time. I worked two shitty jobs to make sure every bill was covered, and even then, my mom helped out a lot. Between my dad’s pension and his life insurance, she’s set for the rest of her life and uses the extra to help everyone around her, especially me and Soph.
Sophia was born by an emergency C-section, and though I’d like to say I was more worried about Soph’s mom, I wasn’t. Our relationship was dying and neither of us really wanted to keep it alive. She had a long recovery and held a lot of resentment toward Sophia because of it.
But I respect her because she knew it. She knew she wasn’t in the mental space to be the kind of mom Sophia needed. After a lot of talks, she decided to take some time away, pursue the master’s program she wanted, and see how she felt.
She ultimately signed her rights away. Not because she felt like she had to choose between Sophia and a future, but because she realized she didn’t want her future to include motherhood.
I’ve raised Sophia telling her that her mom loved her enough to let her go because she knew she couldn’t be the mom Sophianeeded. That will probably hurt more as she gets to her teen years, but for now, she’s okay with it.
And I’m okay having Soph all to myself. Though I’ve always left the door open to her mother. She can change her mind, and as long as she’s sure, she’s welcome in Sophia’s life. I refuse to let there be any bad blood there. It destroys kids.
Sophia is my whole world, and I’ll do everything I can to protect her from that kind of needless ache.
“Night, Daddy,” she whispers sleepily as I leave the room.
“Night, kiddo.”
