Page 87 of The Last Thing
Everything’s okay.
As Wilson said when he came to me in the bathroom, it was nothing serious. Just some light spotting after sex, which isn’t uncommon. I already have my appointment with my OB next Wednesday, so they’ll do another check and make sure my labs look good, but the ER doctor seemed confident there’s no cause for concern.
I feel a little stupid for getting so upset, but I want this baby so much. The thought of losing them is horrifying. It felt a little too close to reality tonight.
Now I’m exhausted and want to crash, even though the adrenaline of it all has me so hyped I’m not sure I can.
Wilson has been quiet the entire ride back to my apartment. Old apartment. It still feels cozy, like a home away from home, but it’s not where I’m meant to be.
When I unlock the door and step inside, I let out a long breath. The door shuts behind me, then Wilson walks past me, going to the other side of the room and staring out the window.
I slip my shoes off and make my way over to him. His eyes stay locked on the little sliver of the city outside.
“Hey,” I whisper, running my hand up his arm.
Reluctantly, he turns to look at me, tears rimming his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I grab both his hands and step in front of him, forcing his full attention on me.
“I don’t want to lose this.”
Oh God, my heart.
His voice is achingly raw.
“Sophia’s mom had a rough pregnancy, and I was always worried about what would happen to Sophia, but… maybe I was young or I didn’t care enough or I was a selfish jackass, but it never occurred to me to worry that Sophia’s mom wouldn’t be okay. With you? I was terrified tonight.”
“But you were so calm…”
He takes my face in his hands.
“On the outside. On the inside, I was barely keeping it together. Losing you or our child…”
A tear falls down his cheek, and my heart lurches.
Running my hands up his arms, I look into his eyes. “I’m okay. Our baby is okay.”
He kisses my forehead, then drops to his knees in front of me and lifts my shirt, kissing across my stomach.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, little one. Daddy loves you.”
Then his eyes lift to mine, and my heart feels the words he doesn’t say.
I curl my fingers through his hair as tears slide down my cheeks.
This is it. No more lying to myself. No more pretending. It’s time to give this a chance—a real chance. That all-consuming kind of love still terrifies me, but I know I’ll hate myself forever if I don’t give this my all.
I’ve always said yes to taking risks, as long as those risks didn’t include my heart. Well, fuck that. My heart is already on the line. Time to see what happens when I offer him a piece.
I tug on his hair, pulling him upright, then his mouth melts over mine in a warm, comforting kiss. Our first kiss that isn’t out of pent-up desire. A kiss that isn’t leading anywhere. It’s a kiss that’s about us. The us we could be. The us I want to be.
He breaks the kiss and pulls me into his arms, and I bury my face in his chest.
He strokes his fingers through my hair and I melt into him a little more.
“Can we go to bed?” I murmur. “I just want to lie in your arms.”
He hugs me tighter, kissing my head. “I’ll hold you all night.”
